Making Choices
by ihavealifeiswear
Summary: After a medical emergency, Aria has finally reached her tolerance level with A. Spencer promises to defeat A, if only to save her best friend from constant physical and emotional pain, but what happens if she doesn't want A to be revealed? Answers becomes clear when she has to chose between the people she loves most. Spoby/Wrencer triangle and Sparia Friendship conflicts.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is the first chapter of the first story I am considering. I am trying to decide if I want to continue this story, or a different one. I will post the first chapter of the other story soon, I hope. This story takes place in current-day Rosewood with all of the current characters and A plotline, unless otherwise mentioned. Hope you like it! Please Read and Review. Even just a "nice chapter" is very encouraging. **

* * *

Spencer sighed with pleasure as her boyfriend Wren nuzzled his nose against hers. The two were snuggling on her bed on a chilly Saturday afternoon, exactly what the doctor ordered- Doctor Wren, that is- to help deal with her anxiety. It had been such a hard week, and having this time alone with Wren was exactly what she needed to calm her nerves. She had been endlessly stressing about a History quiz, a Biology test, and an English paper- AND Toby's relentless attempts to win her back.

Toby still didn't know why Spencer dumped him two weeks prior, and it was killing him inside. It was killing Spencer, too- no one knew about the breakup but Wren, not even her friends. It was just too hard to explain to people. Not to mention the fact that Toby still didn't even know WHY Spencer dumped him.

To remind of her off that small fact, a tiny pebble smacked against the window. Spencer groaned and peered outside to see Toby on her front lawn, staring up at her and Wren as they kissed. His eyes glared up at the window, right at Wren as he ran his fingers through Spencer's long, flowing hair.

"Stop," she whispered and pulled away from Wren. She opened up the window and yelled out, "Toby, I told you, we are over! Leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me why," he said evenly. "I love you, Spencer. And I won't take no for an answer until you give me a good reason why you left me."

"Stop, Toby," she yelled again. "Just leave us alone."

"Is it him?" asked Toby in that same, calm demeanor. "Is that why you ended it? Just tell me yes or no, I won't be mad."

Spencer bit her bottom lip, refusing to dignify him with an answer. "Go home, Toby," she called out and slammed the window shut. She closed the curtains in a hurry and buried her face in her hands.

"Shhhhh," Wren whispered to her, pulling her in for a hug and rubbing her back. "Don't cry, please don't."

Spencer shook her head against Wren's strong, muscular chest. It didn't have that same perfect six-pack like Toby had, but it was softer, cozier, more inviting. "I'm not going to cry," she mumbled. "I just wish he'd leave me alone."

"This is harassment," Wren said sternly. "We could have him arrested."

"No, no, that's not what I want."

"Then what DO you want, Spencer?" Wren pressed gently. "He deserves much worse for what he did to you. Just tell me what you want."

Spencer covertly snuck a glance outside; Toby was driving away in his truck. She knew what she wanted to say: _I want him back. I want to go back to a time before I knew what he did. I want to go back to the love we felt for each other. I want to love him again. I want to be happy. I want to fall in love with some one who won't break my heart._

But she stared into Wren's honest, caring, earnest eyes. When she stared at those eyes, it was like they hypnotised her to want nothing more than what was right in front of her. So she didn't say any of that. Instead, she said want he wanted her to say, and what she wanted herself to feel.

"I want YOU."

Wren smiled and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Spencer giggled and leaned in closer. Soon, she was on his lap. They kissed longer, harder for a few minutes until Wren's beeper, wedged under Spencer's right thigh in his pants pocket, suddenly vibrated loudly.

Spencer jumped off him, creeped by the sudden jolt of movement. Wren chuckled as he pulled out the beeper and squinted at the screen. "I have to go, love," he said, standing up. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and said, "There are lives that need saving."

Spencer smiled up at him seductively and said, "What if I need some _medical attention_?"

Wren laughed and said, "Well, I'm working the ER tonight, so just stop by if you need me."

"I wish, but Aria is moving in tonight."

"How long is she staying with you again?"

"A whole four months." Spencer and Aria were so excited. Byron and Ella had been given the opportunity of a lifetime: a mini-sabbatical living in the most impoverished, abject cities in Europe as part of a traveling professors tour. There was one big issue: they couldn't bring along Aria and Mike, and they wouldn't be able to have any internet or phone calls for the whole trip. Aria insisted that her parents go, saying they couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Aria also confided in Spencer that she thought the trip was the perfect thing to help them fall back in love again. They had been going days without talking, and a little European adventure was just what they needed to rekindle the flame again. She was nervous about living without any contact with them for 16 weeks, but Spencer was like a sister to her.

"I should let you get going," Spencer said, standing up and stretching. "Give me a call tomorrow when you get out of work. I was thinking we could maybe go to the. . . art museum?" Going to the art museum was code for secretly making out. They first time they kissed after she broke up with Toby was when Wren met up with her at the art museum while she cried her eyes out.

"I'd like that," he said. He kissed the crown of her head one last time and whispered, "I love you, Spencer."

The words left her mouth before she even had time to think about them: "I love you too, Wren."

With that, he left her bedroom, leaving Spencer alone with her thoughts. She plopped down on her bed and moaned softly, thinking about Toby. He had approached her every day since their spontaneous breakup, and she still hadn't told him why she dumped him. But he couldn't know. If he knew, everyone's life would be so much worse.

Before Spencer could give it a second thought, her phone made a chirping sound, alerting her to a new text. She knew who the text was from without reading the screen, but she double checked the number just in case.

It wasn't a number she had in her contacts; she deleted it two weeks ago. But she recognized it from all of the times she had dialed him, crying or laughing or just to say "I love you." Her stomach was churning even before she read the text, but the words made her want to vomit:

**Spencer, I love you. I don't understand why you did this. I swear on my mother's grave that I will do whatever I can to win you back, whether you like it or not. Whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry. But I love you. Just remember that. -Toby**


	2. Chapter 2

"Ugh, I left my cell in my car," moaned Aria front her spot on the bed in the Hasting's guest room. "How much do you love me?"

Spencer moaned dramatically from the other side of the bed. "Not enough," she joked. The two were exhausted, having just spent the last house lugging all of Aria's luggage through the house and piling it in the guest room. Aria had a big wardrobe, and she brought a LOT of luggage. After hours of getting everything ready for her, the two of them collapsed on the bed, unable to move.

It didn't help that Aria wasn't feeling well and made Spencer carry almost everything. Spencer didn't mind TOO much -she NEVER minded doing things for Aria- but she was trying to decided if Aria was faking it or not. She kept complaining that she was cold and that her stomach hurt, but she seemed fine earlier.

"When did your parent's flight leave?" Spencer asked.

"About three hours ago. My mom said she would text me at their layover in New York before their cells went dead, but I need my phone."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Well, good luck teleporting it here," she said in a teasing way. Aria was her best friend; surely she could forgive her.

"Please?" whined Aria. "It's freezing outside."

"Man up," joked Spencer. "Your parents are living without heat or electricity for the next month. You can make it to your car."

Aria rolled over towards Spencer and winced slightly. "You stomach still bugging you?" asked Spencer sympathetically as Aria's face turned green.

Aria nodded weakly, rubbing her lower abdomen. "I thought it was just cramps, but it hurts a LOT."

"Want me to make you some tea?"

Aria groaned softly and said, "I really don't feel like moving to the kitchen the drink it, though. I don't know if I can move at all."

"Nice try," Spencer said, "But I'm still not getting your phone for you." Aria rolled her eyes playfully and rolled off the bed into a standing position in one swift move that Spencer called her ninja roll. When she was finally in standing upright, she suddenly lurched in pain. It felt like her insides were twisting around each other, and she had to do everything she could not to collapse.

"You okay?" asked Spencer nervously. But Aria didn't respond, her throat suddenly closing up as a bitter taste filled her mouth. Her blood pressure rose, and she felt very, very dizzy. "Aria?"

Aria dashed like mad from the bedroom, her hand clasped over her mouth. She sprinted out of the room towards the bathroom and just made it in time. She fell her knees on the cold tile floor and grasped the toilet as she became violently ill.

Spencer was behind her in an instant as Aria's tiny body heaved and convulsed. She gathered all of Aria's long, dark hair into a messy pony-tail and rubbed her back, whispering softly to her friend. When Aria finished, she collapsed sideways against the side of the bathtub, gasping for air.

Aria lay there, shivering in the fetal position, while Spencer flushed the toilet, passed Aria and handful of tissues to wipe her mouth, and wet a wash cloth. Aria moaned gently while Spencer helped her up into a sitting position and wiped her face once over with the cold cloth.

Aria shuddered as the seemingly freezing water hit her skin. "Aria, breathe," whispered Spencer, noticing her friend's fluttering chest. She was hyperventilating, taking a thousand breaths per minute.

"I'm so cold," Aria whimpered as Spencer placed an arm around Aria's quivering shoulder. Spencer touched Aria's forehead in a motherly way and felt sizzling heat under the cold water droplets.

"Your burning up," declared Spencer as she felt Aria's flushed cheeks, her sweaty neck. "You should lie in bed and rest." Aria nodded, but when she tried to stand up, pain shot through her abdomen and she had to sit down on the lip of the bathtub. It was excruciating.

She tried catching her breath while Spencer stood above her, eyeing Aria with concern. "I can't stand up," Aria whispered like a lost puppy who had been kicked repeatedly.

"Aria, what's wrong? I thought you said it was just cramps."

"That's what it felt like," Aria murmured. "But it hurts SO badly."

"Come on," said Spencer, sitting down next to Aria. "I'll help you get up." She slung one of Aria's tiny arms over her shoulders and practically lifted the tiny girl into a standing position. With an arm around Aria's waist, Spencer half guided, half carried her to the bedroom while tears slid down Aria's cheeks.

As soon as they reached the bed, Aria collapsed and started breathing heavily, as if she had just run a marathon. "I'm sorry," she gasped between heavy breaths.

Spencer pulled a blanket over her and said simply, "Sorry for what? For being sick? Aria, it's okay." She touched Aria's cheek gently, her breath catching in her throat. Aria was the best friend she had in the world, and it killed Spencer to watch her in so much pain. "Just rest," she said sternly, giving Aria's back a quick rub.

Several hours later, Spencer collapsed into her own bed after the long day. Her thoughts were cloudy and muddled in her mind, and she found it difficult to fall asleep. Her mind kept bouncing between her love for Wren, her disdain for Toby, her concern for Aria, and her festering secret as to why she dumped the person who she thought she loved most in the world.

She tried to fall asleep for a while, but an infuriating owl outside kept screeching, "Who! Who! Who!" Who, indeed. Who did she love? Who was she truly going to trust, Wren or Toby? Who would she give her soul to? Each "who" felt like smack in the face.

It drove her insane. Her mind was spinning, to muddled by all of these frustrations to fall asleep. With every passing moment, it felt like the owl screaming "Who!" was getting more and more demanding, as if she had to make up her mind. _But I can't, _she wanted to call out to it. Frustrated, she slipped in a pair of earplugs and drifted off to sleep.

She tossed and turned all night long, arising from strange dreams at strange hours. Later, she would want to thank Toby for muddling her mind and giving her such dreams, because that was what finally woke her up at 2:49 AM and made her slip out her earplugs. Those dreams were what made her wake up to hear the screaming coming from down the hall. If it wasn't for those dreams, Spencer would have never been awake and burst into Aria's room to find her friend screaming bloody murder, drenched in sweat. If it wasn't for those dreams, Aria might not still be alive.


	3. Chapter 3

"Spencer!" cried Emily sleepily as she burst through the doors to the Rosewood Memorial Hospital waiting room. "What happened? Where is she?"

Spencer looked wearily up at Emily, tears brimming in her eyes. "Her surgery should be starting any minute now," Spencer whispered. "Her appendix ruptured a few hours ago."

Emily breathed a sigh of relief as she sat down next to Spencer. Spencer made it sound like Aria was on the edge of death. "It's just her appendix? Thank God she'll be okay."

"No," whimpered Spencer. "She's not going to be okay. The doctors said she was literally just in time to surgery. They said she should have been brought in HOURS before, and if we waiting any longer, she'd be . . . ."

"Spence, it's okay though. It'll all be fine in the end-"

"She could have died because of me!" cried Spencer as tears finally slithered down her cheeks. "I put on fucking earplugs and I didn't hear her screaming my name. This is all my fault."

Spencer flashed back to several hours prior. When she called the ambulance, the paramedics had given her a stern glare. "You should have called us hours ago," one told her sternly. "This girl might not make it. Those words felt like a bullet through Spencer's gut, if only because they wrere true.

Aria couldn't have walked out of bed to wake Spencer, and her screams went unheard under Spencer's earplugs. If Spencer hadn't woken up because of a nightmare, she might have never heard Aria scream at all. If that had happened, Aria might have died. And knowing this made Spencer shatter.

"Hey," whispered Emily as she stroked Spencer's back gently. "Appendix surgery is really safe. My mom had her's out when she was a kid, and medicine has gotten so much better since then. Aria's is going to be fine, okay?"

Spencer sniffled. "But it's my fault for waiting so long to come here. I knew she wasn't feeling well, but I put in my ear plugs anyways. She was my responsibility, and I slept through her screaming because she couldn't even roll over. It's all my fault."

"Spence," Emily whispered, pulling her into a hug. "You couldn't have stopped this. It's not your fault at all. The surgery should only last about an hour, and she'll be fine in a week. She will be okay, you understand?"

Spencer didn't even have time to mumbled a response before Wren came bursting in the room. Blood was smeared down his scrubs, he held a large clipboard, and there was a frantic expression in his eyes.

"Spencer!" he yelled as he rushed to her. "Where are Aria's parents?"

Spencer was shocked by his urgent tone. She was hoping that he had come here to comfort her, but it looked like that wasn't the case. "Out of the country, I told you-"

Wren groaned, but suddenly his eyes lit up. "Wait, you turned 18 five weeks ago!"

Spencer raised her eyebrows. "Yeah? And?"

"I need some one 18 or older to sign this for her, and since she's living with you, you are the only one eligible."

"Wren, what IS that?"

"It doesn't matter, just sign it!" he demanded, thrusting the clipboard at her.

Spencer was taken aback by urgency as he shoved it at her. "Wren, what is this? You're scaring me."

He looked at her, pleading with his eyes. "Spencer, do you trust me?"

Spencer gulped before she answer. "Yes."

Wren sighed and started to ramble. "As a doctor, I legally have to explain what this means before you sign it, but those minutes explaining might be the difference between life and death for Aria. This gives us permission to perform a procedure on her that NEEDS to happen. Now, sign it."

Spencer gasped and scribbled a signature across the paper, her hand shaking, without giving it a moment of consideration. Wren squeezed her hand lightly before taking the clipboard and running back towards the operating room.

"Spence?" whispered Emily, watching her friend's body shake. Spencer let out a low wail and collapsed on Emily's lap, shaking with sobs.

* * *

"Spencer?" a familiar voice said gently as some one shook her shoulder. Spencer breathed deeply and sat up from Emily's shoulder. Her neck hurt from sleeping against Emily for hours on the hospital waiting room couch.

She looked up to see Wren shaking her awake. Around her, Emily, Hanna, and Ezra were all staring at him with expectant expressions. Hanna and Ezra had all arrived in the waiting room shortly after Spencer signed the clipboard, confused as to why she was completely inconsolable.

"Aria's out of surgery," Wren said with a smile.

"Really? How long was I out for?"

"Not long," said Emily. "About four or five hours."

"FIVE HOURS?" cried Spencer. "I thought the surgery was only supposed to last an hour."

"It WAS," moaned Wren. "But Aria had an allergic reaction to the anesthesia we used. We had to remove all of her blood and flush out her system."

Spencer's mouth dropped open. "What? Is she okay?"

Wren nodded warily. "She will be eventually. She'll been in pain for a while and have serious muscle aches, but other than that she will be okay."

Spencer's eyes filled with tears. "Was that the form I signed?"

Wren nodded. "That was to give us permission to clear her out before the reaction spread too much. We got in just in time." His beeper chirped and Wren groaned. "Listen, Spencer, I have to get back to work. I'll let you know when she's permitted visitors." Wren gave her a quick kiss on the nose and left. "Love you," he declared before returning to work.

Ezra, Emily and Hanna stared at her, mouths gaping open. Spencer blushed furiously, her eyes darting between Ezra and her friends. She prayed Ezra wouldn't leave so the girls couldn't talk freely, but unfortunately, he read the signals from Emily and Hanna.

"I'm going down to the cafeteria," Ezra declared nervously, leaving the girls to talk. "Text me if I'm gone when Aria wakes up." With that, he nervously paced down the hall, away from Spencer's pleading eyes.

"Um, what the hell?" Hanna asked as soon as Ezra was out of earshot.

Spencer felt her palms start to sweat. "Han, it's not what you think."

"Are you cheating on Toby?" asked Emily, an edge of disbelief in her voice. She didn't want to believe it was true, but she and Wren looked AWFULLY touchy-feely just then.

"NO!" declared Spencer. "Em, you know me. I'm not that type of girl."

"God, Spencer, then what type of girl are you?" Hanna spat. "That looked an awful lot like some thing was going on between you two. He said he LOVED you."

Spencer turned bright pink and pursed her lips. "Spence?" whispered Emily. "IS there something going on between you guys?"

Spencer's chin quivered, and a tear slipped out of her eye. "There IS something going on," she whimpered softly.

Emily closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Hanna's eyes flashed dark. "SPENCER, how can you do that to Toby? He loves you!"

Spencer shook her head. "I broke up with Toby two weeks ago. The night of our anniversary."

"WHAT?" both girls screamed at the same time, it utter shock. Toby was the perfect boyfriend, so kind and loving and sweet. Spencer told them that they already talked about how many CHILDREN they would have. Breaking up never seemed like option.

"Spence, you waiting this long to tell us?" said Emily tenderly. She placed a hand on Spencer's back. "Why didn't we know sooner? What happened?"

Spencer turned her head to the floor, refusing to look either of them in the eye. "Because only Wren knows, and I'm not ready to talk about it."

"Spencer, you can tell us," said Hanna softly, squeezing Spencer's knee. "What is it? What did he do?"

Tears spilled down Spencer's cheeks as the words left her mouth: "We just had a bad fight. I don't want to talk about it." With that, she stormed from the room and ignored the girls calling back for her.

She ran down the halls, not sure where she was going. At one point, she found herself in the maternity ward. She walked up to the nursery, were twenty or so newborns sat in bassinets. She looked at the tiny, fresh faced babies, and was suddenly angry. Who knew how these kids would grow up? Some could be killers, or black mailers, or liars, or even all three. She read the names on the bassinets: Eric, Suzy, Sarah, Jacob. One name made her jump: Toby. She knew it was completely unrelated, but she felt a disdain for this baby. Only a few hours old, he seemed so fresh and innocent. But he could grow up to betray some one.

Suddenly, she needed to say it out loud, the real reason she dumped him. Sniffing, she leaned over baby Toby and whispered the truth to him. Some one needed to hear what was going on. Some one needs to know.

That was her logic for looking the tiny, wrinkled baby in the eye and whispering, "He's A. Toby is A."


	4. Chapter 4

"Sweetie, I've got to get going," Ezra said as he checked his watch. "I need to be at work in an hour." He sighed as he sat up and jumped off of Aria's bed in the Hasting's guest room.

Aria nodded as Ezra kissed her forehead. "Will you be back tomorrow?"

"At the crack of dawn," he promised. "Oh, and I got you something." Walked into the hall to grab a giant teddy bear, almost 4 feet tall. It had creamy beige fur and a big, pink bow tied around its head.

Aria laughed weakly. "It's almost as big as I am."

"Just pretend it's me next to you when you're asleep," Ezra said with a wink as he settled it down next to her in the bed. "Love you."

"You too," she called after him as he slid out the door. The second he left the room, Aria moaned and collapsed under the covers, withering in pain. She hated lying to Ezra about how sick she was, but she knew it would hurt him to know she was still in agony every minute. It was if the pain medication was helping her at all.

Moments later, Spencer appeared at the door with a bowl of hot soup on a tray. Aria turned pale as she approached and tried to hide under the covers, but Spencer sighed and set down the bowl of soup next to her on the night table.

"Aria, you need to eat," said Spencer softly, ruffling her friend's hair.

Aria shook her head forcefully, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Please! I'll just throw up again. Don't make me eat more."

Spencer looked at her sternly but sadly. "You've got to eat something. Have you been able to hold down ANYTHING since getting out of the hospital? It's been four days. You're starving to death."

Aria chin quivered slightly. "But throwing up hurts so badly. Please, Spencer, don't make me."

Spencer looked at Aria, conflicted. Aria had been in so much pain the last few days. She had been unable to sleep well or rest comfortably for more than a few hours, and was constantly moaning in pain. She was suffering so badly, and Spencer knew she would just throw up the soup if she ate it. But Aria hadn't eaten anything for days, and she looked so thin and pale.

"I don't want to see you suffer," Spencer whispered tearfully, sitting down next to Aria on the bed. "But if you don't eat anything than you aren't going to get better."

"What's wrong with me?" Aria whimpered. "It shouldn't be hurting this much."

"I don't know. It might have something to do with your reaction to the medication. But the pains meds should be helping."

"But they're NOT," cried Aria, letting tears fall freely. "Spencer, it hurts!"

It broke Spencer's heart to hear Aria in so much pain, and she bent over to hug her friend._ This is all my fault_, she told herself. _It's my fault she is in so much pain. I have got to do something to help her_. "How about I go talk to Wren and see if he can get you a higher dose on your pain meds?"

Aria nodding, shivering. "Can you go now? Please?"

Spencer didn't want to leave Aria alone, but the look on her face was begging, pleading for relief, and Spencer couldn't say no. "I'll head over to the hospital now." She turned to leave, but suddenly ran back to Aria.

"Aria?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say that. . . I love you. And I'm sorry."

Aria looked confused. "It's not your fault, Spence."

Spencer took a deep breath. "I know, I'm just . . . . sorry that you're hurting. I don't like seeing in you in pain."

Aria stared at Spencer mournfully. "There nothing you can do though," she said in her weak, raspy voice.

"I know," Spencer lamented. "But. . . I just want you to be safe, okay? Just stay safe." She kissed Aria's forehead and whispered, "I'll be back soon," as she dashed out the door to the bedroom.

She didn't want Aria to see the tears in her eyes. Those last few statements were pretty loaded, although Aria didn't know why. She had just become so afraid recently after finding out about Toby.

She couldn't stop thinking about her anniversary, the night everything happened. She had just popped her homemade lasagna into the oven and finished setting up the Scrabble board when she accidentally gave herself a paper cut on the card she was writing. She winced and reflexively sucked her finger to stanch the flow of blood as she dug through his drawers, trying to find a band aid.

When she saw the ID card, she froze. She picked it up gently and studied it like a rare artifact. Why would Toby have a Radley visitation ID under a false name? Who did he know at Radley? Unsure of what to do, she dialed Wren, asking if he had any idea of what it meant. He had worked at Radley after all. Had he seen something?

When Wren told her what he knew, it all finally clicked: Toby was A. What Wren told her might have seemed like useless information to others, but to Spencer it was damning evidence of what was going on. And it felt like a punch in the gut.

Weeks later, she thought about that phone call to Wren, the phone call that changed everything. She thought about breaking down when she met him later that night, her legs turning to jello under her and her body convulsing with sobs. She rethought every decision she made after that phone call, from simply signing the card with, "We're over" and taping it to the door to trashing the lasagna that she had spent hours on.

Standing in the hallway, she could hear Aria quietly moaning quietly. Spencer bit her lip, trying not to scream. She hated this. She couldn't stand hearing Aria cry, watching her shiver with pain spasms. Every moment, the pain got worse. She just kept thinking that it was all because of her. _It's my fault Aria is in pain. It's my fault A is after us. It's my fault that Ali is dead. It's my fault that Toby is A._ She didn't know how, or why, but she somehow knew it was all because of her.

Spencer paced angrily down the hallway before collapsing against a wall. Tears caught in her throat, part angry and part sad. _I won't do any more damage, ever again, she silently swore. I won't let anyone get hurt again. Not Wren. Not Hanna or Emily. And ESPECIALLY not Aria._

_I will never cause some one pain again._

* * *

**Yeah, this chapter wasn't really important, I know. It was kind of boring. And I know not a whole lot has happened yet. But I needed this as a transition for the next chapter. And I PROMISE the next chapter will be great because it may or may not involved a SPOBCER (I just made that up. . . Spoby/Wrencer) love triangle. Keep reading! The action is going to pick up, and it will get good soon, I promise. **


	5. Chapter 5

"So how's she doing?" asked Hanna gently over the phone.

"Exactly how she was doing before the new meds," said Spencer mournfully, shaking the bag of pills in her hands as she walked briskly down the sidewalk. "It takes thirty minutes to walk her over to the bathroom every time she has to pee, and thirty to walk back. I don't understand why this is happening."

"So the new medicine didn't help at ALL?"

"Nope," murmured Spencer. "I got an even stronger dosage from Wren today, but he said if he gives me anything stronger, I could kill her."

Spencer could hear Hanna click her tongue nervously. "I wish I could come over tonight, but my mom is making me go to this stupid work thing of hers."

"It's cool," said Spencer. "Have you talked to Emily lately? Maybe she can come over."

"She has a swim meet really early tomorrow, so she wants to get a good night's sleep."

"Crap," exclaimed Spencer as she began to cross through her back lawn. "I was really hoping that she would be able to come by and-" Suddenly, Spencer was abruptly silenced.

"Spence? You there?" Hanna said when there was silence on the other end of the phone.

But Spencer didn't respond. She was too concerned with the hooded figure wrapping its hand around Spencer's mouth and pulling her into the bushes behind her house. She dropped the bag of pills as the person began to choke her, cutting off her air supply. Whoever it was tackled her to the ground, the two rolling around in the mud for a few awkward minutes.

She struggled and fought for a few seconds before biting down on the hand that covered her mouth. It immediately drew back long enough for Spencer to choke out, "Han, I'll call you back" and hang up the phone. After she hung up, she started screaming for help.

"Don't scream," Toby whispered, recovering her mouth and using his free hand to pin her shoulders to the ground. He pressed his knees onto her thighs so that she couldn't kick at him. If Spencer wasn't scared to death, she would have been shocked. Despite the fact that he had abs of steel and could bench 200 pounds easily, he had never been physically aggressive with her, or ANYONE for that matter. He was like a teddy bear with a six pack. It scared her to see what he was capable of.

Then again, she already knew.

After a few more minutes of moaning under his hand and struggling beneath him, Spencer realized her efforts were useless. Her eyes narrowed at him, defeated under his weight, so he whispered, "I'm going to count down from ten. When I hit zero, you are going to sit up and talk to me like a human. Ten, nine. . . "

Spencer continued to moan and wriggle under him, but Toby was no match for her. He easily had 6 inches and 75 pounds on her, and she didn't stand a chance. "Eight, seven. . ."

Spencer stopped screaming, but breathed heavily under his hand. The second he released her, she would have to run in the house and call 9-1-1, but what could she say? "Six, five. . ."

His eyes stared at her, hypnotizing her until every muscle in her body relaxed. She stopped fighting under his muscles, going limp as overcooked spaghetti. "Four, three. . ."

She realized that they needed to talk. She had been secretly longing for this moment since she left him: a chance to talk. She was dying to hear the bull shit spew from his mouth, some sort of excuse. She needed to hear him babble, needed to hear him grovel. "Two, one. . ."

Toby took a slow breath and removed his hand from her mouth as he whispered, "Zero," so softly that she almost couldn't hear. Spencer inhaled heavily as he removed his weight from her body, her lungs filling with clean, fresh air.

"Are you okay?" he said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to suffocate you."

She sat up silently, staring at Toby's calm yet concerned expression, and smacked his hand away. "Don't touch me," she growled. She took a breath, and spat out, "If you don't start talking, I am going to call the cops."

Toby held up his hands defensively. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said softly. "I just want you to talk to me." Spencer pressed her lips together, tight and angry.

"Fine, then I'll talk."

Toby cleared his throat and whispered, "I miss you." Spencer didn't respond, so he kept talking. "I have no idea what happened between us Spencer. I don't understand why you did this to us. Why you ended us."

Spencer pressed her lips even more tightly together, afraid of her response. If he knew that she knew he was on the A-Team, he might be angry and. . . act out. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, he was strong and smart. He could do some serious damage.

"Spencer, talk to me," he pleaded gently. "Being shut out is killing me. And WHAT is going on with the doctor?"

THAT got Spencer made. "The doctor has a name," she said indignantly.

Toby raised his eyebrows. "Really, because I thought all he had was a di-"

"You shut up about him," Spencer barked. "You have no idea why I'm with him."

Toby cocked his head to the side, curious about his words. "Do you?"

"Yes," Spencer whispered, her voice choked up and thick. "And it's none of your business."

"Yes, it is," Toby said, leaning in so his face was just in front of hers. "There is something going on here, but I don't know what."

"Toby, I-"

"Shhh, just listen," he said, pressing a finger to her lips. "I love you, and I'm going to fight for you. I don't care if you like it, but I won't give up." With that, he lightly kissed her on the lips, much to her surprise.

But suddenly, it stopped being so light. Something in Spencer's heart snapped when his lips touched hers, and a deep yearning that she had been denying suddenly broke through. She couldn't deny it; now matter how much she cared about Wren, and no matter how much she HATED Toby, the boy in front of her now was her first love. He was the person she thought that she would spend her life with. He was the one who made her feel alive, feel beautiful, feel special, feel RIGHT.

Spencer leaned into him, forcefully pressing her lips into his. She could feel her entire body relaxing as he wrapped his arms around her and pressed her body to the ground. Soon, he was on top of her again, touching her face and getting as close to her as physically possible without getting naked.

Spencer giggled and shifted her weight in one swift move. Toby lost his balance ended up sliding down into the mud, slightly damp next to the bushes. Soon, Spencer managed to roll on top of him, pressing down his shoulders with the palms of her hands. As soon as she ended up firmly on top, she flashed him a victorious smile, ready to lean back in and kiss him.

But when she stared into his eyes, his pale, blue eyes, she lost control. All she could see in those eyes was badness, darkness, evil, and destruction. She stopped seeing the eyes of Toby, her friend and lover, but the eyes of A.

She hated herself for giving in to him, for cheating on Wren. She hated the universe for putting her in this life, this life of pain and suffering. And she hated Toby for taking advantage of her, for lying to her, for being A. She quickly slapped him, his eyes widening in surprised, and rolled off of his muscular body.

She didn't stick around for him to ask questions, so she quickly searched around for the bag of Aria's medications. She found it on the ground next to Toby, so she grabbed the bag and bolted towards her house, tears streaming down her face. She ignored Toby scrambling up from the mud and calling her name, and she slammed the door behind her. She locked it tightly and pulled down the shades, not wanting to see his face.

"Spence? Is that you?" a weak voice called from up the stairs.

"I'm coming, Aria," Spencer called up, swallowing her emotions. She ran upstairs to find Aria in bed, virtually unchanged and still pale.

"Did you get any more medications?" asked Aria, trying to hide the glimmer of hope in her voice. The pain was still overwhelming, and there was virtually no change after the last batch of medication was added. She prayed that these drugs would finally made a difference.

"Yup," said Spencer, plopping down the pills on her night table. She sat down on the bed and ruffled Aria's hair. "So, Ezra was here all morning? How was your day?"

Aria raised an eyebrow. "Apparently not as interesting as yours. Why are you all covered in mud?"

Spencer gulped and scrambled for an explanation. "I, uh-"

PLING! A loud bleat from Aria's cellphone interrupted them, much to Spencer's delight. Aria grabbed the phone from her nightstand and squinted at the new  
text message. "It' A," she said as she read the message.

Spencer's blood ran cold. "What does it say?" Was she right? Was this retaliation from Toby?

But Aria simply shook her head. "I don't understand," she said, and showed Spencer the text:

**It's so easy for me to get under your skin. Feeling butterflies in your stomach yet? -A  
**  
"I don't get it either," said Spencer, handing it back to Aria. "Does that mean anything to you?"

"Nope," said Aria, but suddenly another noise came out of the phone. And another, and another. "Wait, some pictures were sent with it. A bunch of them." Aria opened the first picture, and gasped. Unclear of what she was seeing, she scrolled through the rest of the photos.

More noises kept coming from the phone, along with more pictures. But Aria and Spencer barely noticed the noise over the sound of Aria's high pitched, Earth-shattering screams.


	6. Chapter 6

"SPENCER? ARIA?" Emily and Hanna screamed in sync as they slammed open the door to the Hasting's guest room. Their hearts were pounding after sprinting across the Hasting's lawn and up the stairs to reach their friends. They had been petrified of what they would find after receiving the text from Spencer about half an hour ago:

**SOS. Come to my house. A problem. Hurry, please. We need you. -Spencer**

It scared the life out of both of them, and their worst fears had only been confirmed after entering the guest room. Aria was sitting up with her knees tucked up to her chest. Her arms wrapped around her legs as if she was holding on for dear life. Her whole body was quivering while she breathed fast and heavy, like she was gasping for breath while whimpering softly every few breaths. Her eyes were rimmed in red, tear stains dribbled down her face, and her whole body looked even weaker and sadder than usual.

Spencer sat behind her on the bed, her arms wrapped around Aria's tiny body as if they were trying to contain her. Her head snapped up when Hanna and Emily came bursting in, but didn't move. Aria didn't even seem to notice their presence.

Spencer whispered to Aria, "Emily and Hanna are here. I'm going to go out in the hall and talk to them. I'll be right in the hall, okay? Nod if you understand. I'll be right there, right in the hall."

Aria didn't shift her gaze at all towards the girls, but she nodded her head slightly, just once. Spencer kissed her on the back of her shaking head and leaped off the bed, grabbing something from the night table next to Aria. "Spence," Hanna started, but Spencer just ushered her and Emily out of the room, pushing them out before they got a chance to talk to Aria. She dragged them into her own bedroom and collapsed on her bed, letting out a deep moan.

"Spence, what's going on?" asked Emily, her voice rising an octave and doing nothing to hide her concern. "You said there was a problem."

Spencer buried her face in her hands and shook her head. "Em, not 'a problem.' An 'A' problem."

"Spencer," barked Hanna, "What kind of A problem? What is going on here?"

"Aria had a panic attack," choked out Spencer. "I mean, I don't blame her."

"WHY?" cried Hanna. "What did A do?"

Spencer sat up weakly and passed Hanna the thing she had grabbed from the bedside table. It was Aria's cellphone. Emily leaned over Hanna's shoulder and the two read the text.

"Okay," said Emily. "What does this mean? 'Butterflies in her stomach?' 'Under her skin?' I don't get it."

"Neither do I," said Hanna. "Spence, what does all of this mean?"

Spencer swallowed nervously. "Open the attached photos," she whimpered, not wanting to elaborate. Hanna nodded, and she clicked on the first attachment. It made a loud chirping noise as it opened.

Hanna started at it for a moment, confused. "Um, okay, so it's a picture of Aria sleeping?"

"Keep looking through," whispered Spencer, nervously. "Look at the other photos." Hanna did as she was told, but she nearly vomited at the sight of the second photo.

"What IS that?" she cried, throwing the phone at Emily. "It's DISGUSTING!" Emily scrolled through a few more photos, clearly trying not to dry heave.

"What is this?" she asked. "I don't understand." What she was looking at was photos of Aria, covered in blood. Aria with her stomach sliced open. Aria on an operation table. Aria with a bunch of doctors touching her, feeling inside of her.

Spencer weakly massaged her shoulder. "It's Aria during her operation. A somehow got photos of her during the procedure, with her stomach cut wide open."

Emily turned slightly green. "Ew," she whimpered. "Why would they send those to Aria, other than to make her puke?" The photos were gruesome, disgusting, with images over inside of her that would make even the strongest stomach turn.

"Did you read the text?" Spencer explained. "A is making her think EXACTLY what A wants her to think."

Emily suddenly gasped, understanding, but Hanna looked between the two of them, clearly confused. "And that is. . . what? That internal anatomy is just as disgusting as it sounds?"

Spencer looked at, her expression stern. "That A was in the operating room, and A put something INSIDE of her. Something bad."

"What?" asked Hanna skeptically. "That's impossible. They don't let just ANYONE in there. I don't think A could have snuck in there and done something."

Emily nodded. "Spence, everything there is really by the book, and its all very specific. There is no way that A could have done something to her."

"Well, I know that," said Spencer drily, "But try telling that to the girl who thinks she had a stalker in a black hoodie playing with her organs."

Hanna made a face. "Do you have to put it like that?"

"Well, I don't blame her for jumping to that conclusion, Han. Wouldn't you?" Suddenly, the girls noticed Spencer's chin quivering. "Guys, Aria is really scared. She think that A might have hurt her, or poisoned her, and that's why she isn't getting better after surgery."

"Do YOU?"

Spencer considered for a moment. If everything she believed was true, if Toby was A, then this didn't seem like something he would do. He always told her that the sight of blood made him faint. Then again, he did lie a lot, apparently.

Finally, Spencer shook her head. "I think that this is just A messing with her, or punishing her. Or punishing ME."

Emily looked at her and said, "Why would A scare the shit out of Aria to punish YOU?"

Spencer blushed furiously. _Um, maybe because I dumped and rejected him_? she thought. But she couldn't say that. "I don't know," she mumbled. "But guys, you need to back me up. Just come in there with me and tell her that's not what happened. I'm sure that A probably just stole those photos from the doctor's records. Help me make her calm down."

The girls nodded and began to follow Spencer back to Aria's room. But as they opened the door, Spencer stopped short, a gasp escaping her mouth. Emily and Hanna came in behind her, and both froze in their tracks at what they saw.

All three of them were completely in shock as the watched Aria, Aria with her bubbly personality and cheerful giggle and ten thousand watt smile, as she shoved an entire heaping handful of pills into her mouth, her tear filled eyes showing no sign of remorse.


	7. Chapter 7

For three very long seconds, no one moved, no one blinked, and no one breathed. But when those seconds were over, it felt like the world was splitting in half. Emily and Hanna both were paralyzed with fear, screams caught in their throats. But Spencer ran over to Aria and clamped her hands around Aria's throat.

"Don't swallow," she commanded, tightening her grip. "Spit them out. Spit them out _now_." Aria choked and sputtered under Spencer's strong grip. She tried to fight, but she was weak and Spencer was strong.

If it were another moment, Emily and Hanna would have been shocked. Spencer always put on a tough-girl personality, but she HAD never physically touched ANYONE before. They would have yelled at her if they weren't praying for her to succeed.

Spencer felt Aria gagging under her hands, so she pressed even more tightly. She could feel the pills caught in Aria's throat. "SPIT THEM OUT RIGHT NOW," Spencer growled.

Aria couldn't breath, couldn't move under Spencer's hands. She thought they might kill her. Reflexively, she kept trying to swallow the pills, and they finally went down. Spencer could feel the pills slipping down Aria's throat under her hands. She could feel them slipping past her death grip, straight into Aria's stomach.

Finally, Spencer removed her grip on Aria's throat. She angrily stalked from the room, not caring that Aria was gasping and choking and struggling for air. Hanna and Emily stared at her, still frozen from across the room. They had no idea what to do.

Aria gradually got control of her breathing, but Emily and Hanna didn't move. They just stared at her, surprised tears forming in their eyes, while they watched Aria breathe. It went on like that for what seemed like an eternity before Spencer returned.

She was holding a big metal mixing bowl from her kitchen and a toothbrush. There was a look on her face that none of the girls could identify as she dropped the bowl on Aria's bed and presented the toothbrush to her.

"What. . . do . . . you want me to. . . do with this?" Aria breathed, totally confused.  
Spencer looked at her sternly and said, "Either you throw up those pills, or I am calling 911. You have sixty seconds to decide."

This snapped life into Emily and Hanna. They ran to Spencer's side. "No, please," Aria cried. "Throwing up hurts so much. Don't make me-"

"_WELL,_ YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT," Spencer exploded. "I'M GIVING YOU THE CHOICE."

"Please Spencer!" wailed Aria. "Please don't make me."

"Aria, you've given me no other option," Spencer declared, grabbing the pill bottle. It still had a few small white pills in the bottom, rattling around when Spencer shook them in Aria's face. "You should have thought before you swallowed a handful of. . . " Spencer paused to read the drug name, "Oxyribotin*. No you either do this, or I am calling an ambulance. Decide _now._" She slammed the pill bottle back down on the night table, her hands shaking.

Aria was caught. She could either get her stomach pumped and be in more agony, or she could make herself sick and be in agony. But her hatred of hospitals and doctors made up her mind, not to mention her fear of what they would do to her this time. Her hand shaking, she grabbed the toothbrush.

But just as she was about to shove it down her throat, someone yelled, "STOP!" All eyes swiveled around to Hanna, who was holding the pill bottle and shaking. "This isn't oxyribotin," she declared, holding one of the pills in her hand.

"Hanna, what are you talking about?" Spencer growled.

"I took oxyribotin when I broke my leg," Hanna explained. "It's in an orange capsule. This isn't it." She held out the small white pill in her shaking hand.

Spencer grabbed the pill from Hanna and studied it. She sniffed it once then placed it on her tongue. All eyes were on her as she rolled the pill around in her mouth, pensive. After a few seconds, she swallowed. "A breath mint," she declared.

She grabbed another bottle of longer, smooth white pills and emptied in her hands. Again, she popped it in her mouth, and her eyes went wide. "Tic Tacs," she whispered, not believing. She grabbed all of the other bottles and handed them to Emily and Hanna. The emptied all of the contents on the bed and began testing each pill. After a while, it became clear to them.

"Mints, candy, sugar pills, and baby aspirin," Spencer mumbled, examining a pill bottle. "Unbelievable."

"I don't understand," said Emily, her hands shaking. "What happened?"

Spencer read the label of the oxyribotin for what seemed like the first time. She finally noticed something strange about the dosage instructions: "TAke one pill eAch dAy with food And wAter."

"What's going on?" whimpered Aria. "I don't understand."

Spencer sat down next to Aria on the bed. She gently placed a hand on Aria's head and said simply, "This is why you aren't getting any better, why you're in so much pain. You haven't been taking any medication. They got switched out by A."

"What?" Aria whispered.

"That's not possible," said Emily. "A wouldn't do that to her."

"Emily, A almost killed all of us before," said Hanna. "A is willing to do anything."

"But this? This is a whole new level. How could have A done this?"

"A is willing to do anything," Spencer repeated simply. "A can do anything he. . she. . . shim wants. If that means literally torturing us, then so be it."

They were the last words that Aria wanted to hear. She started to cry, tears dribbling down her cheeks. "I can't do this," Aria whimpered before breaking into full fledged sobs. "Oh God, I can't live like this."

"Aria, it's okay," Hanna whispered. "We're here." She leaned over and hugged Aria, pulling her close. But it did nothing to silence Aria's sobs.

"It's okay," Emily repeated, leaning in to Aria and hugging her as well. She held Hanna and Aria tightly, squeezing them so tight that they couldn't break free.

Spencer wanted to lean in and hug them too. There was NOTHING she wanted more in the world than to hug Aria and say it was okay. But she couldn't, because it WASN'T okay. Not by a long shot. If she had told the others what she knew about A, this never would have happened.

Aria just tried to take her life in her own hands. And it was all Spencer's fault.

* * *

***Oxyribotin is a drug name that I made up. **


	8. Chapter 8

"Thank you," Emily whispered as Spencer passed her a mug of tea. She took a sip before placing the mug on the Hastings' coffee table. Spencer placed Hanna and Aria's mugs on the coffee table. Hanna's hands were already full with Aria, who was practically in her lap.

Spencer studied the two of them as she sat down across from the couch. Aria was was laying with her head and torso in Hanna's lap as Hanna gently stroked her back and kissed the back of her head.

At that moment, Spencer would have given an arm and a leg to switch places with Hanna. _She_ wanted to be the one holding Aria, holding her close, and telling her how much she loved her. _She_ wanted to hold Aria until all of the scary, bad things went away. But Spencer could barely keep herself going right now, let alone take care of Aria. She couldn't just grab Aria like a teddy bear.

"You should drink the tea," Hanna whispered. "You'll feel better." She helped Aria into a sitting position and gently lifted the mug to Aria's mouth for her. Aria took a tiny sip before turning her mouth away. Hanna sighed, put the mug down, and slung an arm over Aria's shoulder, gently rubbing her arm.

Spencer wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what. Emily beat her to it; Emily always was so good with words. "Aria," she said tenderly, "If you were that unhappy, you could have talked to one of us."

Aria sniffled softly and leaned her head onto Hanna's shoulder. "There's nothing you could have done," she said in a monotone.

"That's not true," said Hanna, squeezing Aria's shoulder softly. "We understand what you're going through, with A. We've all been going through it. And we're here for you, 100 percent. You know that, right?"

Aria sat up from Hanna's shoulder and leaned forward. She gazed into the fireplace across the room, speaking slowly as she responded. "Somewhere I knew that. But when I got that text with those pictures, I just. . . . snapped. I just kept thinking about how this wasn't going to end. How things will never stop hurting. And I don't just mean my stomach."

Aria sniffled loudly before continuing. "It's never going to end," she whined, a cry for help. "It won't stop. I thought it was over, but it's not. I can't keep living like this."

Hanna leaned forward and placed a hand on Aria's back. Spencer remained frozen in her seat across the room, and yet again Emily found the words before she could. "Aria, there is always another option. If you are feeling like. . . ." She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. "We are ALWAYS going to be here to help you through this."

Aria shook her head. "I just don't know anymore. I'm not sure if I can keep going."

Hanna suddenly cleared her throat and said, "Aria, you know, when stuff gets bad for me sometimes, I try to give myself something to look forward to. I think about something in the future that's really good, that I'm waiting for."

Aria didn't respond, so Emily prompted Hanna to keep going. "Like what?"

"Like. . . our senior year spring break," said Hanna. "I thought we could all go on a trip together, to Miami or Orlando, or even the Bahamas or Atlantis."

"National swim finals," said Emily, jumping in. "That's what I look forward to. Competing with the best of the best. I can't wait for that."

"Or my wedding," Hanna whispered dreamily. "I already have it planned."

"Spencer?" prompted Emily. "What about you?"

Spencer cleared her throat. She wanted to say she was looking forward to getting over her breakup, but she knew it wasn't the right response. "I look forward to. . . Christmas. It's the one day of the year where my family is all together and we don't fight."

Hanna nodded. "New Years for me. My mom and I always do something together, go out somewhere fancy. It's always fun."

"I think about my wedding too," Aria offered. Everyone froze when they heard her voice, and they urged her to continue. "To Ezra. Walking down the aisle and . . . becoming his."

"Me too," said Hanna. "For Caleb, I mean."

"When gay marriage is legal in Pennsylvania," Emily said. "I look forward to that."

"When I have kids," said Hanna. "Being a parent."

Emily smiled and said, "Watching Hanna be a parent and seeing what her kids turn out like."

Everyone laughed picturing an army of miniature Hannas. But suddenly, a large boom of thunder sounded from outside. Everyone jumped, and Aria collapsed back into Hanna's arms.

Although none of them could admit it, they all hated thunder. Each of them could remember the booms of thunder outside the barn on the night Ali died. Now, every boom of thunder was a painful reminder of what their lives had become during the last few years. It was silent for a moment, before Spencer found out what she wanted to say.

But at the same moment, Aria was thinking the exact same thing. Both of them said exactly what they were thinking, what they were looking forward to most in the world: "When we are free from A."

At that moment, an electric shock surged through Spencer. She thought about the secret she was keeping: she knew the identity of A. She thought that keeping Toby's secret would be for the better, but it had driven Aria insane.

She thought that she was protecting her friends. If they knew who A was, then A might do something worse to them. But by keeping Toby's secret, she had driven Aria to this rock bottom point.

So as the four girls all move onto one couch and snuggled close, Spencer internally made a decision. She decided that she had to free Aria, small, fragile, beautiful Aria, from her hell. She would find some way to reveal A.

And the only way to do that safely was to find out about Ali's murder, she realized. If the killer was found, then there would be no more secrets, no more hiding. Somehow, Spencer Jill Hastings needed to find out who killed Ali.

And if the only way of doing that was to go back to Toby, than she we do it. She would do whatever it took to keep Aria safe.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi. Updates might slow down a little bit due to a buy schedule. It's looking like I can keep a consistent post every other day for this story, alternating days with my other. Please be patient if updates are further apart. Also, please review! Thank you to everyone who has left me a review so far.**

* * *

"I missed you, love" Wren whispered into Spencer's ear. He ran his hands over her back, sending shivers through Spencer's body. He forcefully pressed his lips to hers and shoved his tongue in her mouth.

"I can't do this right now," she said, pulling back. "Can you just give me a prescription for the pills? I have to get back to Aria." Spencer had come here to Wren's apartment in search of a new written prescription for Aria, but she got sidetracked when she and Wren ended up sitting on his bed, just being close. After everything that happened in the last 24 hours, from getting tackled by Toby to Aria's suicide attempt, it felt like forever since some one wanted to hold her up.

Wren sharply blew air out of his mouth, clearly upset. "I don't understand why you need me to get her all new medications."

"I just do," Spencer insisted. "Please, don't ask questions."

"Did. . . . HE have something to do with this?" ask Wren, looking at Spencer with concerned eyes.

She bit her lip and looked at the ground. "I don't know who you mean."

"Toby," Wren said simply. "Did A do something to her medication? Lace it with cyanide?"

"Thank God, no," said Spencer. After a second, she realized that she didn't want to lie to Wren. She was through with lying. He knew everything already, far more than Aria and the others did. What was the harm? "Toby. . . A switched the medications, okay? She was taking sugar pills, not the drugs you prescribed."

Wren's eyes widened. "The bastard," he growled. He pulled Spencer into a hug, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Toby did that."

Spencer swallowed, her chin quivering. "It might not have been him," she whispered as she let her body collapsed into his. "It might have been Mona." She knew it was a long shot; she was almost positive that he switched the pills when he tackled her in the mud. She was so distracted that she wouldn't have noticed him switching the prescriptions.

"Spencer," Wren whispered as he gently rubbed her back. "Do you really believe that? Honestly, we both know he did it."

"I know that somewhere," she whimpered as she buried her face in his shirt. "I just keep making up stories to make it hurt less."

"Hey," Wren whispered softly. He pulled away from Spencer and looked her in the eyes. Tears were forming in her soft, sad eyes. "Look at me, love. Do you remember when you came to me that night? When we met up behind the art museum?"

"How could I forget?" said Spencer, smiling sadly. "That was the night I realized that I love you."

"But think before that," Wren said while pressing a light kiss to her cheek. "When you were crying. When I helped you figure it all out. About what he did."

"I try not to think about that," Spencer said with a shrug. "I just think of what happened after." Spencer giggled sadly and said, "I just think about the good things. Like me and you. That's a good thing."

"You can't block out everything else," Wren insisted, caressing her pale skin. "That night changed a lot. If you hadn't come to me, we would have never figured out that he was A. Think that if you hadn't found me, you would still be living in a lie."

"Wren, stop," begged Spencer, one lone tear finally sliding down her cheek. "It's over. He's gone." Her voice shook as she spat out the words.

"We can't forget, Spencer," Wren said, grabbing her hands and squeezing. "Together, we need to take him down. And I can't let him hurt you anymore. I won't let him keep hurting you, Spencer. Please, love, we have to stop him."

Spencer nodded and sniffled softly. "I know," she croaked. "But how? I still don't even know why he is doing all this."

"Then we will find out," Wren said simply. "Together. And I won't rest until nothing in the world hurts you ever again."

Spencer's chin quivered. Know one had spoken like this to her before but Toby. Not her mother, not her father, not any other person in the world. Those words were the things she craved her whole life: a promise to protect and love her through the darkest times. No one but Toby had ever sworn a vow like that to her before.

Somewhere in her brain, the analytical, anal, practical Spencer thought, _But Toby broke that vow. He swore the same, and he let me down_. But Spencer's heart was too strong. Her heart was the thing that drove her here. She had gone her whole life trying to deny her heart, her need to be loved. But now that she finally had some one loving her, she had to keep it going. Toby had loved her, but he betrayed her. She couldn't let Wren do the same.

It was that yearning for love, that desire above anything else she could ever want in the world, that made her say it. "I love you, Wren."

"I love you too, Spencer." She pressed her mouth to his, feeling in his soul with her lips. It was a kind soul, caring and honest and loving. He kissed her tenderly in return, not understanding the force behind Spencer's lips.

Soon, she was ripping his shirt, literally yanking it off him. She quickly lifted her own shirt over her head before leaning in again to kiss him. Wren pulled back and whispered softly, "Do you want to keep going?"

Spencer nodded, reaching for his zipper. He grabbed her hand, already pulling the zipper halfway down. "I don't have protection."

"I'm on the pill," Spencer said simply, pulling his pants down fully, then his underwear. Wren leaned in and kissed her passionately while pulling down her jeans. Spencer quickly slid off her own underwear and unhooked her bra.

"I love you," she said again, more to herself than him. She was ready for this. This was what she wanted. She loved him, loved him so much._ I love Wren Kingston. I love him with all my heart. _

This is what she told herself as their two bodies became one, as he slipped inside her. This is what she told herself as he began to canvas every inch of her as if she belonged to him. This is what she told herself she gave herself to him. This is what she told herself.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey," Spencer whispered as she peered in Aria's room the following day. "You awake?"

"Mmhmm," Aria mumbled, rolling over. "I am now. Sorry for passing out. These drugs really take me out of it."

"It's okay," Spencer said, entering the room. "You need your rest; your still recovering. I brought you up some soup if you're hungry."

"Starving," said Aria, sitting up. Spencer placed a bowl of steaming miso soup with tofu- a substitute to chicken noodle for a vegetarian like Aria- on Aria's lap.

She sat down at the foot of the bed and watched Aria hungrily slurp the soup. "It's amazing how fast you're getting better," Spencer said after a few minutes of watching Aria eat in silence. And it was true- she was walking around sometimes, she had her appetite back, the color had returned to her cheeks, and most importantly, she was starting to smile again.

Aria nodded as she finished sipping the last spoonful of broth. "It is," she said, placing the bowl on her night table. "I feel a lot better. Thank Wren for me when you see him next, okay?" It was a normal enough request, but Aria winked at her- WINKED at her.

"What do you mean by that?" Spencer asked, trying not to blush.

Aria smiled at her and said, "Hanna and Emily told me about you guys. I'm happy for you."

"What? You are?" Spencer was shocked. She expected nosey, meddling questions like she had received from Hanna and Emily. They had been relentlessly asking questions since Aria's surgery, not letting it go that Spencer was refusing to open up.

"Of course I am, Spence." Aria looked at her with warm, caring eyes. "I guess something happened between you and Toby, and you'll tell me when you're ready. But if you found some one else who you care about, and who cares about you, then I'm happy for you."

"You are?" Spencer said again, completely shocked. Aria had often told Spencer how much she loved Toby, how perfect and sexy and loving her boyfriend was, how much she loved her best friend's perfect relationship.

"How can I not be?" Aria said with a shrug. She beamed at Spencer and said, "I love seeing you happy. And if you're with Wren, then I'm happy you're together."

Spencer swallowed, tears threatening. "You know it's the same for me, right?" Spencer blinked twice, not letting herself tear up in front of Aria. She needed to have this conversation. "I love seeing you happy. Seeing you. . . . smile. And laugh. I love hearing you laugh."

Aria didn't respond, just studied Spencer's somber expression. When did the mood shift? "That's why," Spencer continued, "It breaks my heart to see you sad, or in pain."

Aria bit the inside of her cheek, finally understanding where this was going. "That's why," Spencer started before she lost her nerve, "It killed me to think that you were in so much pain you wanted to. . . end it."

Aria sighed softly. "Can we not talk about that?" she whispered, looking at Spencer with puppy-dog eyes.

"No," said Spencer, even more softly. "We have to talk, Aria. I can't just let this go without talking to you."

Aria frowned slightly. A moment of silence settled in before Aria patted the space on the bed next to her, indicating that Spencer should sit there. Spencer stood up and sat down again, this time right next to Aria.

"The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you," Aria said, staring into Spencer's big, caring eyes."You know that, right?"

Spencer nodded, not trusting herself to respond. "It's just," Aria continued, "Spence, I. . . . I don't know how I can keep doing this."

"Aria, we are in the together," Spencer insisted. "You're not going through this alone. We are all here for you."

"I know," said Aria. "I know that somewhere, deep down. But on top, all I can think about how I felt walking home after the masquerade ball the night we found out about Mona."

"Before we got to Emily's?" asked Spencer. She remember those moments all too well. She could still feel her blood going cold when she heard Pam telling Emily the truth, the shock that surged through her when Maya's body rolled by on a stretcher, the feeling of Emily turning to putty in her arms as she realized the person she loved had left her. It was all too similar to what Spencer felt a few weeks ago, when she realized that Toby was A. He was gone too, just in a different way.

Aria nodded. "What I remember best was walking down the street towards Emily's house, thinking, It's finally over. All of the fear, all of the horror of A. I thought it was done for good. Do you remember feeling that?"

"I don't," said Spencer with a sad shake of her head. "I was still in shock." Spencer was still reeling from Mona trying to kill her only a hour or two prior. At that moment, she couldn't even begin to fathom what it meant that A was behind bars.

"I know," said Aria. "That night, you were still. . . freaked after what Mona did to you. Hanna was freaked that her best friend was A, and Emily was freaked about Maya. You guys were all losing it, and I. . . I think I was the only one who ever experienced that feeling of freedom. I was the only one who really understood that all the pain was over.

"But it wasn't," Aria whimpered, tears starting to form in her eyes. Spencer was paralyzed, unable to do or say anything. "The pain wasn't over. A is back, and I would do ANYTHING to feel what I felt that night. Feeling free. And if I could only get their by being DEAD, then-"

"Stop," said Spencer, her voice shaking. "Please." Tears were spilling down Aria's face, so Spencer grabbed her tiny friend's hands. "Listen to me, Aria. You are going to get there again, I promise."

"But how?" Aria whispered as tears streamed down her face.

"Together. Aria, we are going to do this together. I am going to stop A. I swear to you, I swear to God, I am going to end this. You are going to feel that way again, I PROMISE."

Soon, Aria was sobbing. Spencer came in closer to her, pulling Aria into a bear hug. "I'll take care of you," she told Aria. "I PROMISE."

Aria nodded into Spencer's chest. Suddenly, she pulled away. "I love you, Spence," she whimpered in her little girl voice before collapsing again.

"I love you too, Aria," Spencer assured her, soothing the small girl's sobs. She leaned back against the headboard of the bed and pulled Aria into her lap. She held Aria there, holding her tightly and caressing her face both girls fell asleep.

Some hours later, Spencer woke up from her nap and gazed at Aria's sleeping face. If there was nothing else she was sure of, she knew she loved Aria. Aria knew everything about Spencer, even more than Spencer knew about herself. And Spencer knew everything about Aria.

She thought about the promise she made to herself several days ago. "I will never cause some one pain again," she swore. But she knew now that she had to do more than that. She had to stop the pain that others were causing.

She made a promise to Aria. She made a promise to stop A, a promise that she intended to keep. So Spencer kissed Aria on the head, gently so not to wake her, before she grabbed her phone from her pocket.

_You made a promise_, Spencer told herself as she composed the text message, manually typing in a number for the recipient because it wasn't in her contacts. _You made a promise_, she told herself again as she read the message over before pressing send.

_You made a promise to Aria_, she told herself once more before she sent the message that changed her life forever:

**Toby. I need to see you. Tomorrow. No one can know. This doesn't mean anything about us. -S**


	11. Chapter 11

"Okay, here are the rules," Spencer said as Toby sat down in the chair she had placed on the far side of the motel room. "You sit there. You look at me. You don't move. You don't speak unless spoken to. You got that?"

As Toby sat down, he didn't know whether to laugh or not. Spencer had never spoken to him like this, and she sounded ridiculous. She had never given him an order before. But at the same time, he was kind of scared. This rigid, angry girl was nothing like the soft, loving Spencer he knew.

"I get it," he said simply. "And can I just say that you look beautiful?"

"Fuck off," Spencer barked, but secretly she was pleased. This was exactly what she wanted. She had spent hours doing her makeup, curling her hair, and picking the perfect out: tight, tight, TIGHT black skinny jeans and a glittery top that clung to her skin and showed off everything she had. For the plan to work, she needed to look like a hooker.

Her plan was simple: sex tease to extract information. She would taunt him relentlessly, and with each piece of information he gave her, she would take off a piece of clothing. Just before she went to far under, she would bolt. Little did Toby know she was wearing about 7 pairs of underwear.

Toby was taken aback by her anger. "Spence," he whispered, "Will you just tell me what's going on? Talk to me, please."

Spencer took a deep breath. She wanted to jump right to the chase, but it was impossible. "So," she said breezily, "How've you been, Toby?" She raised an eyebrow at him as if she was actually curious about how he was doing.

"Um, how do you think?" said Toby, studying her. "I got my ass dumped by the girl I love and I don't even know why. How SHOULD I be doing?"

"Well, not too bad," Spencer began, choosing her words carefully, "Considering I'm not the only person you've loved."

Toby inhaled sharply. He tried not to show his fear, but his knee was bouncing. Spencer knew him well enough to know that he was sweating. "What makes you say that?"

"I think you know who I mean," Spencer said, cocking her head to the side. "She might go by the initial. . . .A?"

Toby pressed his lips together and turned bright red. "Well, are you going to deny it?" asked Spencer simply. "Are you honestly going to sit here and say nothing happened between you to?"

After a moment, Toby shook his head. "I can't lie to you," he said simply, his chin quivering. "Yes, something was happening between me and her."

When she heard that, she could feel her heart drop down into her stomach. She didn't want to believe that he was in league with Mona, but hearing him say it. . . . that changed everything. It was true; it was real. Toby and Mona were working together.

"And about what you're doing now?" she whispered. "It's. . . . wrong. Wrong on SO many levels." She thought about how Toby was basically killing Aria with the fake drugs. There was so much not right about it. How could he live with himself knowing that he was causing so much harm, so much pain?

"I know. . . I- I know," Toby stuttered. "I know it's not right. But . . . Spencer, I'm hurting." Toby swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I want you back."

"But you don't love me," she said simply, glaring at him. "If you did, then we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Spencer," Toby whispered, leaning forward in his chair. "Whatever happened between me and . . . . her, it means nothing. NOTHING. I love you. I love you, Spencer. You were MY safe place to land. Nothing that happened between me and anyone else could EVER compare to what I feel about you, what I feel when I'm with you. Please, Spence, believed me. I love you."

Spencer's jaw dropped open. "But. . . but. . ." she stuttered, unable to come up with a clever retort. This wasn't what she was expecting. He still loved her? That wasn't possible! It was all an ACT, wasn't it? She was just a pawn in this A game. He didn't _really_ love her; he COULDN'T!

Finally, she stood up and walked over towards him. She stood towering above him as he shook like a leaf in the armchair and growled to him, "But you and her. What you did with her."

Toby looked up at her, his eyes as innocent and sad as a lamb being sent to the slaughterhouse. "She means NOTHING to me," he swore. "She is gone. Done. Dead. I love _you_. I'll love you until the end of time, whether you return that love or not. No matter what happened between me and . . . her, I love _you_, Spencer Jill Hastings."

Something in Spencer snapped hearing that. There was no way that Toby could be lying right now, not with that look in his eyes. She knew that look all too well. She had seen that look of misery and yearning from Emily as she cried into Spencer's arms the night Samara dumped her. That look said, _I love you, and I want you back in the most honest way possible._

Spencer yanked Toby up by his collar and kissed him forcefully. She could feel sparks as their lips touched, then fireworks, then so much energy that she felt like an atomic bomb was exploding on her tongue. Toby's eyes went wide and he started to pull away after a second. "What. . . "

"Don't speak," Spencer whispered, pressing a finger to his mouth. She leaned back in and pressed her mouth to his, running her hands up the back of his shirt. She didn't need words to express what she was feeling, and neither did he. They only needed their lips and their hands.

Toby grabbed Spencer as if he was reclaiming her, canvassing her shoulders and chest. He stopped after a moment, afraid he gone to far. But in response, Spencer flung her top over her head so she was standing their in only her tight pants and lacy black bra. She slid her hand under his t-shirt, feeling his rock hard chest as if it were for the first time. She kept her hands their for a moment before yanking it off him too.

With both of them shirtless, Spencer fell backwards onto the bed. Toby climbed up on top of her, kissing every inch of her bare skin until Spencer took off her own bra. She reached down to slide of her pants, then her underwear. Toby stopped her hands before they slid under the elastic waste of her panties. "I don't want to go too far," he said, his eyes wide.

"I do," Spencer said softly. She lowered her eyebrows and said simply, "I'm on the pill." She reached for his zipper and grabbed the small metal piece tightly. "If you love me, then prove it."

At that moment, Wren's face slipped into her mind. She knew what he would say, that this was wrong. She knew he would be disappointed in her. But she also knew that she had to get close to Toby again. She thought of her earlier plan, to strip tease but not give anything up.

_But that was before I knew he loved me. If Toby loves me, then it's a whole new playing field. I need to fight for what I want, and what I want from him is answers. If I act like I love him back, then he will let his guard down and tell me everything. I'm doing this for Aria. All I want from him is answers. Wren will understand._

This is what she told herself as he kissed her passionately, welcoming her back into his life. This is what she told herself as he went inside of her, becoming close to her again. This is what she told herself as she gave herself to him. This is what she told herself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, I'm going out of town for a few days, so this story will be on temporary hiatus. Next update will be early next week, Monday-Wednesdayish.**

* * *

The following morning, Spencer blinked into consciousness. Toby was still asleep on the bed next to her, his breathing soft and even. She rolled over on her back, snuggling deeper under the sheets. They felt soft and warm against her bare, naked body. She closed her eyes, thinking of the night before.

She hadn't meant to sleep with Toby. That was never what she intended to do. She was just going to tease him, kiss him at the very most. But things went too far, to say the least. As he slipped inside of her, she knew that she should hate herself for cheating on Wren, for selling her body for information, but she couldn't help it. Maybe it was because she still loved Toby somewhere, or maybe it was because she was desperate for answers, but she did it.

Suddenly, she flashed back to the night of her anniversary, the night she found out about everything.

* * *

_"Wren, tell me everything," Spencer commanded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "How long has Toby been visiting her?"_

_"Um, I'm not sure. Since. . . . April, maybe? May?"_

_"Which one?" she demanded. "Be specific."_

_Wren thought about it, leaning backwards against the wall of the museum building. Spencer had met him here, behind the art museum, claiming they needed to talk, that their phone calls were not enough. "Mid April," said Wren, sure of it. Mona was admitted in March, and she started having regular visitors permitted the month after. "That was the first time I saw him there, anyways."_

_Spencer's mouth dropped open slightly as she wiped the tears from her face. "And what would they do?"_

_Wren didn't want to tell her, but her eyes were pleading, begging. "He would go into her room, close the door, and stay there."_

_"For how long?"_

_"Hours." Wren could see Spencer turn pale, not wanting to believe it. Her eyes were wide, completely in shock. It was then that he knew he had to deliver the final punch, no matter how much it would hurt her. "Spencer? There's something else."_

_"What?" she whispered._

_"I don't know if I should tell you. It will just hurt."_

_"Tell. Me," Spencer growled, stepping closer to Wren._

_Wren blushed and started to talk. "Well, one day I was supposed to go check in on Mona, but I saw Toby go in there about an hour before. I walked up to her door and was going to knock, but I could hear. . . noises coming from the inside."_

_Spencer looked at him. "N.n.n.n.n. . . Noises?" she stuttered, unable to ask the question._

_Wren looked at her mournfully. "Moans. Grunts." He could come right out and say it. But Spencer understood._

_Tear streamed down her face. "Oh God," she cried. "He was SLEEPING with her?" She started to sob, unable to breath._

_"I'm so sorry, Spencer," he said, pulling in her for a hug. He wrapped one arm around her waist and one hand on the back of her head. She collapsed onto him, crying into his chest._

_"How could he?" Spencer wailed. "How could he be A?"_

_"What?" cried Wren, pulling away. "What do you mean?"_

_"A is. . . b-back," Spencer hiccuped, wiping her tears. "We had no idea who it was, but we knew that they . . . they were working with Mona."_

_"Oh, God," whispered Wren, staring at her face. Suddenly, he just did it. He leaned in and kissed her. She kissed him back for a moment, their soft lips touching so lightly she wasn't even sure if they were making contact. But suddenly, he pulled away._

_"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should not have done that just now." _

_Spencer gazed at him, Wren. He was always there for her. She just hadn't seen it until now. "No," she agreed. "You should have done it much, much sooner." She pulled him back in, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him right back, their lips pressing together as seamlessly as two puzzle pieces that had been separated for so, so long._

* * *

Now, Spencer rolled over and looked at Toby's face, his peaceful, sleeping face. Spencer used to love him, more than she loved anyone else in the whole world. But he had to go and ruin it.

Suddenly, she thought of Wren. Perfect Wren, who held her when she cried and kissed her every day like it was the last time he'd see her. But Wren wasn't Toby.

And Toby wasn't Wren. She had no idea who to choose: the boy who broke her heart, but whom she secretly still loved, or the honest, kind, caring man who she could never love like the one who hurt her?

She had come here for answers, but she was leaving with a new question: who did she love? Where would she go from here? The whole A mystery seemed to take a backseat for a moment to her choice. And it was no easy decision to choose between the two most perfect boys in the whole world.

Spencer simply couldn't decide. It hurt to much to think about. So, instead of deciding, she quietly slipped out of the bed. She found her discarded clothing in the corner of the room and quickly slipped it on. Finally, she slipped on her shoes, grabbed her bag, and slipped out the door quietly so not to wake him.

She jogged over to her car, jumped in, and turned on the engine. She casually checked her phone, finding dozens of texts from Aria, Wren, Hanna, and Emily, wondering where she was. She quickly sent out a text to everyone: "**Sorry 4 not responding. I didn't feel well so I crashed a motel."**

Wren responded instantaneously: **R u alright, love? Do u need me to pick u up?  
**

Spencer smiled and quickly typed back: **I'm okay. You're so sweet. See u tonight?**

**Of course,** he responded. **See you then. I love you.**

Spencer nervously glanced back in the direction of the motel, where Toby was still asleep. **Love you too, **she typed back quickly, not even giving it a second thought, before she pulled out of the parking lot, speeding away as fast as she could before Toby woke up and realized that she was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

"It's nice living here with Spencer, isn't it?" Ezra asked several days later as he gently ran his finger over Aria's collarbone. The two were snuggled on Aria's bed, watching an old black and white movie. Well, half watching. It was just an excuse to snuggle, really.

"What do you mean?" Aria said sleepily. The painkillers she was on still took her in and out, and she had been dozing through the movie. She was comfortably laying on her back on top of Ezra's strong body. Laying in Ezra's arms made her feel safer than she had felt since before her surgery. She was uncertain about the rest of the world, but she knew Ezra's arms were safe.

"I mean," he said quietly as he nuzzled his nose on the top of her head, "Your dad doesn't live here."

Aria giggled. "Mr. and Mrs. Hastings do live here, you know," she said as Ezra wrapped his arms even more tightly around her. "They could walk in on us."

"I don't care," he said. "They can walk in on us all they want. I'm not moving." Aria twisted so she was facing him and forcefully kissed him.

She wrapped her legs around his torso and leaned backwards, Ezra holding her up as he leaned in over top of her. He pressed his lips to hers, practically inhaling her. He forcefully pressed his hand to the back of her head, grabbing her hair in his fist.

Suddenly, she pulled her lips away. "Stop," she whispered softly. "We can't go too far. Spencer's mom might come home soon."

Ezra pouted playfully and sat up. "They won't be pissed that I'm here, though. You said they were cool."

Aria smiled and said, "Her dad walked in on her and Toby naked once. He just left and didn't say anything."

Ezra raised his eyebrows trying to decide whether or not to laugh. Was she serious? "THAT is some seriously disinterested parenting."

"Tell me about it," said Aria, rolling her eyes. Sometimes, it broke Aria's heart to see Spencer so unloved by her parents, so neglected. But other times, it totally worked for Spencer's benefit, like how her parents never noticed anything strange going on. Spencer could get away with ANYTHING.

"Speaking of Toby," Ezra said, "I haven't seen him lately. How is he?"

Aria looked at him. "He and Spencer broke up. Weeks ago. I thought I told you."

"You did," said Ezra. "And you said that she dumped him. How's he holding up?"

"Like I care," Aria said, rolling her eyes.

"I would," Ezra said honestly. "Poor guy. He's probably dying inside."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Ezra began, "You remember that bonfire Spencer had over the summer?"

"Of course." The girls were pretty lonely while Emily was in Haiti, so Spencer hosted a barbeque and bonfire in her yard for all of her field hockey friends and their boyfriends.

Of course, Aria and Hanna were invited. Caleb had come along, snuggling with Hanna next to the fire all night. Ezra, on the other hand, could never have snuggled with Aria in front of her classmates, so he didn't come. Aria went to the party for a little while, but she called Ezra to pick her up after a few hours. It bummed her out to see all of the couples together, silently pitying her for being "alone."

"Well," said Ezra, blushing, "When I went to pick you up, I saw them. . . in the bushes."

"Were they . . . doing it?" Aria asked, her jaw dropping.

Ezra blushed. "Naw, just making out, but he had his shirt off. But anyways, I heard them talking for a few minutes. And they were really cute together."

"So?"

"Aria, I'm a writer," Ezra explained. "I know real romance when I see it. And they had it."

"They did?"

"I know what love looks like," said Ezra. "I mean, I feel it for you. I read romance novels that I teach my students. And I could tell that they loved each other."

Aria nodded thoughtfully. "Well, she has Wren now," she said sleepily, settling back down into Ezra's arms. "And they love each other too. Wren is great."

"Well, feelings like that don't just go away," Ezra insisted kissing the back of her head. "Toby is probably still hurting. And Wren can't just be a substitute; he has to be the real thing, or Spencer won't ever be happy. As happy as I am," Ezra added fondly, kissing the top of Aria's head.

Aria hadn't thought about that. She started to respond, but a yawn got in the way. "Sorry," she said sleepily. "These medications really take me out."

"Don't stay awake for me," Ezra insisted. "You can go to sleep; I don't mind."

"You sure?" she whispered sleepily as she settled down back onto his strong, muscular chest.

"I'm positive," he said, kissing the crown of her head. "Go to sleep." Aria yawned again and buried her face into Ezra's chest. "Goodnight, Aria."

"'Night, Ezra. I love you."

"I love you too, princess." Aria smiled. That was Ezra's nickname for her: princess. He never told her why he called her that, but she figured it out after she read a short story he wrote and left sitting out. It told the story of a beautiful princess named Ariana, who fell in love with the court scribe. It was cheesy and totally dorky, but it was the romantic thing she had ever seen. She couldn't wait until he finally showed it to her.

"Go to sleep, princess," Ezra whispered, gently stroking her back. "I love you."

"I love you, too."


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey, I'm stopping at a drug store to grab some 5 Hour Energies," Spencer said into her phone as she walked into a Rite Aid. "Do you need anything?"

"Um, why are you getting five hour energies?" laughed Aria on the other end. "You already drink enough coffee in a week to stock Starbucks."

"I don't know," said Spencer, grabbing a shopping bin. "I've just been getting so tired lately. I have no idea why."

"Something going on?" asked Aria, concerned.

"I'm not sleeping well," admitted Spencer as she strolled down the aisle. "It's just stress, I think."

"Something going on?" Spencer shrugged, but then realized that Aria couldn't see it over the phone. "Spence, I'm kind of worried about you. You get really tired suddenly, and you've stopped eating-"

"That's because I think I'm getting sick," interjected Spencer. "I've just been feeling kind of queasy lately."

"Maybe you should see a doctor," suggested Aria. "I can take you if you need to."

"Aria, I'm fine. I can call Wren if I need to."

"Are you sure? We can just cut school tomorrow."

"Aria, no way. You have missed too much school already, and I'm perfectly fine. Just stressed. But speaking of which, are you really behind on homework still?" asked Spencer as she tossed a six pack of energy shots into her bin.

"Spence, I've been back for a week. I've caught up." Aria was drowning in missed work after being out of school for so long, but teachers were giving her a break because they knew she was so, so sick.

"Does that mean you'd be willing to meet with that therapist I told you about?"

Spencer could hear Aria sighing loudly into the other end of the phone. "Yeah, because going to a therapist worked SO WELL the last time. Make sure you tell Dr. Sullivan what a huge help she's been, getting kidnapped and blackmailed by Mona."

"This one's different," insisted Spencer. "This is a doctor who specializes in teen depression and suicide."

"Spence, I'm not depressed and you know it," Aria said into the phone. "I'm being stalked. I don't think that happy therapist who teaches me how to meditate will help that."

_Oh, the irony,_ Spencer thought to herself. _I'm not allowed to worry about her killing herself, but she's allowed to worry about my virus. When did I suddenly become the one who needs caring for, when she tried to swallow a bottle of pills?_

"Are you sure?" asked Spencer. "It might help just to have someone to talk to."

Aria sighed into to phone again. "Spence," she began, "I love you, and I love that you care about me enough to want to help me. But I don't think it will really help anymore than a Whitman's Sampler."

"Five guesses to what you want me to buy," joked Spencer as she walked over to the candy aisle. "Whitman's Sampler you said?"

"Yes pleeasseee," giggled Aria. "I'm dying for chocolate. On a similar subject, can you also grab me a box of tampons? I'm almost out."

"Sure," said Spencer. "I'll see you at home, 'kay?"

"Yup. Seen you soon."

Spencer went to grab a box of tampons, but her hand froze in mid air just before she touched one.

_Holy fuck._

Grabbing them for Aria had just reminded her of something, something important. She dropped her shopping bin, not caring that its contents were rolling across the floor, and dug through her purse frantically until she found what she was look for: her calendar.

Spencer furiously flipped through the pages of her weekly planner until she found what she was looking for: the date of her last period. She quickly counted the days that had passed until today. She counted them once, twice, three times. Then again, just to be sure. Then another time, in case she counted wrong. Then again, just to be POSITIVE.

_NO. It CAN'T be._

Spencer felt her heart slow down. Her palms started sweating, and suddenly she was very, very cold. "Oh God," she whispered softly, not believing. "Oh. . . _GOD."_

She leapt to her feet and sprinted through the aisle of the drug store, unable to find what she was looking for. Days later, she would feel embarrassed of what she was about to do and how bold she would be, but at that moment, shame didn't even register as she walked up to the first employee she could find and asking, "Excuse me? Where can I buy a pregnancy test?"

* * *

Spencer sat down on the lip of the bathtub, her hand shaking so badly she thought she might drop her pregnancy test on the floor. Only 60 seconds had passed, and she knew she needed to wait a full two minutes before reading the test. But the tension of waiting was killing her.

Her knees were bouncing up and down while she stared at the little white stick. She couldn't be pregnant. She couldn't. She wasn't the kind of girl who got pregnant. Stacy Kowalski in her biology class, with her tight tank tops and thick eyeliner and bruises on her shoulders. That was the kind of girl who got pregnant.

Not girls like her. Not girls with lawyers for parents, who took all AP classes, who played two seasons of sports, who had a best friend who loved her. Not girls who had two equally beautiful guys both lusting over her. Not girls like her.

"Spence? You in there?" Spencer could hear Aria knocking on the door loudly.

_Damn_, thought Spencer, _that girl actually has the worst timing in the world. _"One sec," said Spencer. "I'll be out a few."

30 more seconds. Spencer tried not to lose it, but every part of her was shaking now. If she was pregnant, everything would change. If she was pregnant, her parents would DISOWN her. If she was pregnant, no one would love her anymore. If she was pregnant, her life would be over.

"Spence, I gotta pee!" Aria yelled, knocking on the door angrily. "Hurry up!"

'ONE SECOND, ARIA!" Spencer yelled back. She check her watch. There were ten seconds left. Ten seconds left before she would know.

Then seven seconds. Then six. Then five, four, three, two, one. Spencer closed and her eyes and took a deep breath before looking down at the little white stick.

The bright red plus sign couldn't have been more exact.

Spencer let out a loud half scream, half gasp. "No," she cried, forgetting that Aria was right outside the door. "NO!" She started crying hysterically as she stared at the little red positive sign. She thought that the longer she stared, the better chance it had of disappearing.

But it didn't. It didn't go away. That little red positive sign stayed there. "No," Spencer cried again. "No, no, no."

"Spencer?" yelled Aria from the other side of the door. "What's wrong?" Spencer didn't respond through her tears. She couldn't even hear Aria's frantic calls. She couldn't even hear anything over the ringing in her ears.

Aria grabbed a bobby pin from her hair and picked the lock on the bathroom door as fast as she could. Soon, she was able to fling open to the door to see Spencer bawling her eyes out, sitting on the lip of the tub.

Spencer was so surprised to see Aria there that she dropped the little white stick. It went clattering across the floor, skidding to a stop a foot in front of Aria. Aria looked down at the floor, looking at the little red plus sign on the test. Then, her head shot up towards Spencer.

For a very long moment, Aria and Spencer just stared at each other, not knowing what came next. Neither knew what the procedure was; neither knew how to move forward. But when that moment was over, Aria did the only thing that she knew was right: she walked over to Spencer, arms outstretched.

"Oh, Spencer," Aria whispered as Spencer stood up and collapsed into Aria's arms. She may have been almost half a foot smaller than Spencer, but as Spencer always said, Aria was little, but she was big.

"It's okay," Aria said rubbing Spencer's back while she sobbed. "I'm here. It's okay. I understand." She didn't understand, though. She didn't understand how, Spencer, her constant rock, could get this far off track. How this could have happened to her- well, to her best friend. But it was going to happen to Aria too.

"I understand," Aria insisted, holding Spencer close. "You're parents will understand. He'll understand."

_He'll understand._

"Oh God," Spencer gasped into Aria's shoulder, unable to breath for a few seconds. Everything froze, and the world felt like it was slamming into her like a title wave. Spencer stopped crying for a moment, too shocked to keep going.

"Spence?" whispered Aria, completely confused. But Spencer didn't hear her.

Aria's words set something off in Spence, something inside of her that broke at the realization: she had slept with two boys. Two beautiful, loving, handsome boys. Two boys whom she loved.

Two boys. She had slept with two boys.

Suddenly, Spencer let out another loud scream- a WAIL. "Shhhh," whispered Aria, trying to hold Spencer tightly. "It's okay."

But it wasn't. It wasn't okay. Spencer was pregnant, and she had slept with two different boys. She was pregnant, and she had no idea who the father was.

* * *

**Hey, I was not expecting to get such positive feedback. Thank you to EzriaFan123, Runawaybaby555, Roxygurl808, Liz4, Forever Courage, RinShade, guests and many others for responding. I can promise you that this story is NOT about to turn into your typical Spencer is pregnant story. A is going to play a very large part in this story, and I hope that you will keep reading. The next chapter will move the story along even further and will give you an idea of what the rest of it will be like. Please let me know if you still like this story, but if you don't, read the next chapter because I PROMISE it will be very interesting.**

**-A girl with a keyboard**


	15. Chapter 15

"I don't know how this happened," Spencer whispered as she blew her nose sadly. She tossed the tissue over the side of the bed and leaned her head back on to Aria's shoulder. "I just don't know."

"Were you using protection?" asked Aria while she gently ran her fingers through Spencer's hair.

"No," she mumbled, burying her face into Aria's chest. "I mean, I'm on the pill, but-"

"Spence, you know the pill isn't 100 percent."

Spencer moaned and collapsed even more than humanly possible. "I KNOW that. I can't believe how stupid I was being."

"It's not all your fault, Spence," Aria insisted, stroking Spencer's back to try to calm her down. "Wren should have been more responsible." Spencer swallowed and only buried her face deeper.

"Spence?" asked Aria. "What's wrong?" She could feel Spencer softly starting to cry again. "Shhhhhhhh," she whispered, kissing Spencer on the back of her head. "Is this about Wren? Are you guys in a fight?"

Spencer sat up, and Aria stared into Spencer's eyes, shining like crystal. "Spence, what's wrong?" Aria pressed her hand into Spencer's. "You can tell me. It's okay."

"I. . I don't-," Spencer choked. "I don't know if Wren. . . if Wren is the. . ."

Aria gasped, and her eyes went wide. "He's not the father?" Aria whispered urgently. It couldn't be true. Who else would it be?

Spencer collapsed into sobs. "I DON'T KNOW!" she screamed as she collapsed into Aria's arms. Aria tried to hold her, to but she was too in shock. This was not the Spencer she knew. "I have no fucking idea who the father is!"

"Spencer, shhh, calm down," commanded Aria. "Look at me." She helped Spencer sit up in front of her. "Look at me," she repeated. The two of them sat cross-legged on the bed, facing each other.

Tears streamed down Spencer's throat while she hiccuped. "Spencer," said Aria gently. "Who else could the father be?"

Spencer swallowed and hiccuped again. "T-Toby. Toby."

Aria's jaw dropped even further, if that was possible. "Oh my God," she whispered. When she saw the hurt on Spencer's face, she backtracked quickly. "I- I'm not judging or anything, but. . . oh my God."

"I know," moaned Spencer pressing one hand to her face. "This is all my fault. I was a stupid, reckless little slut."

"Hey, stop," insisted Aria. "You are NOT a slut."

"Yes, I am," Spencer cried earnestly. "I fucking CHEATED on Wren and I SLEPT with Toby. And now I'm PREGNANT and have NO idea whose goddam baby this is!"

"Hey, Spence, breathe," Aria demanded. "I need you to take a breath. In, out, in, out." Aria held Spencer's shoulders while she took big, heavy breaths. "Now, we need to think about what we are going to do next."

Inside her mind, Aria was contemplating all of the different options Spencer had at once. Who would she tell first? How would she tell them? Did she want an abortion? Did she want to consider adoption, or keep the baby?

As Aria stared in to Spencer's glittering eyes, she knew that she had to be the brave one today. Spencer had been taking care of her ever since her surgery, being a nurse and a nanny and a therapist all in one. Spencer had been an angel set from heaven, a ray of light in Aria's darkest times.

But now it was Aria's turn. It was her turn to be the bigger person, the stronger friend. Spencer had stuck with her through the hard times, and now Aria had to repay the favor. There was no way she could pull out now. _What was I thinking? _Aria thought._ I can't kill myself! I can't leave Spencer all alone. I can't leave her. She NEEDS me. _

At that moment, Aria was ready. Ready to be the big girl, ready to step up, ready to take care of Spencer. But suddenly, a loud thump was heard from the other side of the room. Aria and Spencer jumped when they saw a big, fat rock land in the center of the floor.

Spencer glanced over at the window and said, "New rule. Keep the windows closed 24/7." Spencer jumped from her bed and grabbed the rock, noticing now that there was black sharpie writing all over it. She picked it up and read, "**Go to the following website**." Aria grabbed the laptop on the bedside table and carefully copied down a random series of numbers and letters as Spencer read them from the side of the rock.

'What the. . . " Aria whispered as a site appeared before her eyes. It was a simple black template with a heading and a text box below it. "Spencer's tAsk" read the title. Aria placed an arm around Spencer's shoulder, cleared her throat, and began to read the text on the site.

"**Spppppencer Jill Hastings**," Aria stuttered as she read, "**You must follow my instructions exactly. You will log onto this website once a week at 7AM Friday for new instructions. You will not tell anyone about this."**

Spencer's mouth dropped open, completely confused and horrified. Aria kept reading, her voice shaking. "**You will not tell _anyone_ about your pregnancy: not your friends, and not your family. You will not tell anyone what you know about A. You will follow my instructions exactly, every week, or you and your loved ones will pay. -A"**

"Shit," whispered Spencer, unable to believe. "A isn't. . . A isn't playing around."

"What . . . is A's MOTIVATION?" gasped Aria. She began to rapidly scan the text, looking for answers. "Why does A care if you're pregnant? Why can't you tell anyone about it? Why can't-"

Aria cut off reading, and her eyes jerked up towards Spencer. "What do you know about A?"

Spencer swallowed and shook her head. "I've. . . I've just been told not to tell you, Aria. I can't-"

"I don't care," Aria whispered, her mouth beginning to hang open. "You know something. . . and you didn't tell me? How could you?"

"I- I COULDN'T!" cried Spencer. "It's. . . delicate. Did you just read that text? A is THREATENING me."

"A is threatening all of us!" demanded Aria. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Spencer, sometimes it's . . . it's worth the risk. Please, tell me who it is."

"Aria, I can't!" insisted Spencer. "You saw what it said! 'You and your loved ones will pay!' I can't let that happen. I don't know what A would be willing to do to hurt someone, _anyone_ that I care about-"

Aria grabbed Spencer's hands tightly and faced her head on. "Spencer, that is what A is telling you. Look at me. I am your best friend, and I am sitting right here in front of you. I'm real. Tell me, please."

Spencer stared into Aria's earnest, round eyes. They were BEGGING Spencer to reveal the secret that had been weighing on her for so long. Every part of her told her not to tell. _It's too dangerous,_ a voice whispered. _You would be putting Aria in danger. You would be putting Wren in danger. You would be putting YOURSELF in danger._

But Spencer was yearning, yearning to tell. She needed a friend, someone in her corner. She needed someone to help her understand this pain. She needed Aria right there by her side, helping her through this. Maybe it was entirely selfish, and maybe it was because she hated lying to Aria, but Spencer knew that she NEEDED to tell someone. And who was better to tell than the one person who had stood by her side for so long, the one person she knew she could trust, and the one person she was certain that she loved?

Spencer gulped, gave Aria's hands a squeeze, and choked out the words: "It's Toby. Toby is A."

Instantly, a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders. Finally, to have some one know- the relief was overwhelming. She had been dying for this: some one to talk to, some one to unload this problem on, some one to understand.

But Aria didn't have a second to understand, let alone think about it. She barely heard the words. Just seconds after Spencer spoke, the sound of a shot rang out, loud and clear. Aria and Spencer's eyes both went wide for a moment, completely in shock. A shot had been fired, and both of the girls looked down and could see red, sticky blood appearing on their hands, which were still tightly clasped together. But neither knew where it came from; WHO it came from.

Their hands were still locked together, and their eyes met. Neither of them felt pain from the shot; they were still completely in shock. They could feel blood spreading on their hands, spilling out on the bedspread. There was no one else in the room; the blood had to be coming from one of them. Even as it continued to spread over the bed, neither of them knew whom the blood was spilling out of.

But after a few seconds, one of the girls began to feel faint, and her eyes fluttered closed as her muscles slackened. Her hands released from their grip on her friend as the world turned fuzzy and dark. She fell backwards into the bed, the smell of her own blood wafting into her nostrils.

She couldn't hear the voice of her best friend shrieking in the background, crying her name, as she slipped out of consciousness. She lost all senses as she fell backwards onto the bed, her head landing on a pillow as if she were simply laying down for a nap, as if she simply needed to rest in the warm blood pooling around her body as it spewed from her veins.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey, I'm having a kind of crazy week. This will probably be the last update for a while. Sorry. . . **

* * *

"WHERE IS SHE?" Emily howled as she burst through the waiting room doors. "_WHERE IS SHE?"_

_"_Em," cried Hanna, jumping to her feet. She grabbed Emily by the arm and pulled out her out of the scene developing in waiting room and into the hallway. "We can't stay in there," Hanna explained when they were in the hall. "Mrs. Hastings is FREAKING! The second she ran in, she flipped shit. I thought she was about to stab one of the nurses."

"Hanna, is she okay?" cried Emily. "PLEASE, tell me she is okay!"

"She fine," Hanna soothed as she pulled Emily further and further from the waiting room. "Well, she's _going_ to be fine. I talked to Wren about a half hour ago, and he said that she's doing fine. Better than Caleb was doing when he got shot even. She should be out of surgery really soon."

"She's not fine; she was shot!" Emily moaned, pressing a hand to the wall for support. Her breathing was becoming fast, and she had been feeling faint every since Wren called her with the news that one of her best friends was in critical condition.

"She _is," _said Hanna firmly, grabbing Emily's hands. "Like I said, she's almost out of surgery."

"Hanna, WHAT happened?"

"I don't know, Em. All that Wren told me was that Spencer and Aria were sitting on Spencer's bed, and a shot came in through the window."

Emily's mouth hung open slightly. "Han, that's. . . "

"Unbelievable?" finished Hanna. "I have no idea how this could have happened. Who would do something like this?"

The girls felt a cold breeze pass between them. They both knew who would do this, but they didn't want to say it.

"You don't think A could have done this, do you?" asked Emily, shivering. "I mean, it's too crazy."

Hanna looked at Emily mournfully and whispered, "A is willing to do anything. You remember what A did to Aria's medications? A is not above murdering."

Emily nodded and leaned backwards against the wall. "I just can't believe A would have open fired on them like that."

"I wonder who A was intending to hit," said Hanna. "Spencer said she and Aria were sitting pretty close together on the bed, and the bullet might have just hit Aria by chance."

"I don't know," said Emily, shrugging. "I can't imagine why it would have been Aria. I mean, she hasn't done much of anything lately after being sick. That means it was intended for Spencer. But that seems like a pretty big mistake for A to make."

"Unless it wasn't a mistake. Unless A was trying to get Aria to punish Spencer for something that she did, something we don't know about."

"Han, your not making sense. Why would shooting ARIA be a punishment for Spencer?"

Hanna considered it for a moment and strolled down the hallway, motioning Emily to follow after her. "I've known Spencer since I was five," Hanna began, staring out a window. "And she's always been competitive. Even in Kindergarden, she had to have the best finger painting, have the best show and tell presentation, clean up her toys the neatest and fastest."

Hanna turned towards Emily for a moment, but looked away shortly after, as if it was too painful to look at Emily. "For I while I thought it was because. . . she wanted to be the best. She wanted to prove to herself that she was better than everyone else. But that's not why. She's trying to prove to everyone _else_ that she is the best. She wants to prove she's. . . worth loving."

"And what does Aria have to do with that?" asked Emily, trying to catch Hanna's eyes.

Hanna didn't avert her eyes from the small cluster of birds flying outside the hospital window. There were four of them, and three of them flew in circles around each other. However, one of them always seemed to be lagging behind.

"Aria loves Spencer," Hanna answered. "Don't get me wrong, so do I. But there's something going on there. Spencer loves to be loved. And I think that A knows it. It's punishment for her to see any of her friends in pain."

Hanna finally looked over at Emily, trying to read her friend's expression; it was emotionless. "In fact," Hanna continued, "I wouldn't be surprised if we found out A was just after Spencer, and we were only being stalked to punish her."

* * *

Meanwhile, Spencer was shrinking down into her seat in the waiting room, trying to pretend her mother wasn't there. "Spencer, are you listening to me?" growled Veronica Hastings as she angrily paced the waiting room at Rosewood Day Memorial Hospital. "This kind of reckless, careless behavior is unacceptable."

Spencer closed her eyes and fell backward into the armchair she was sitting on. "Mom, I heard you. I heard you! Just. . . give me a break." Spencer had to give her mother credit: the second tears stopped flowing, her mother pounced like a panther.

"Spencer, Aria is not my child," Mrs. Hastings continued. "She is not mine, but she is my responsibility. I am RESPONSIBLE for her. Do you understand what that means?"

"YES, I do. I'm SORRY!"

"WHAT is your excuse?" Veronica continued. "PLEASE explain to me how something like could have happened. I thought you were more responsible than this, Spencer. I thought-"

"Mom, I told you!" Spencer protested. "Aria's boyfriend wanted to try deer hunting, so I let her see Grandpa Hasting's gun. I didn't realize it was loaded." It was a lame lie, very lame.

_I've already lied about so much ridiculous shit_, Spencer thought as the worlds flew from her mouth seamlessly. What's one more lie?

"Spencer," Wren interrupted as he strolled through the doors to the waiting room. "She's awake, and she's asking for you." Without another look at her mother, Spencer jumped from her seat and followed Wren down the hallway.

"Your timing is impeccable," Spencer declared as she followed Wren down the hospital corridors.

"My pleasure," he whispered, slipping his hand into hers. He gave her a tight squeeze before asking, "Are you doing okay, love?"

Spencer stopped in her tracks. She wanted to pretend to be strong, but she knew that she couldn't. "No, I'm not," she said simply. "My best friend was shot in front of me earlier today. I am not okay."

Wren took a quick look left and right down the hallway to make sure no one was coming before he embraced Spencer. He wrapped his arms around her and swayed back and forth, cradling her in his arms.

"Thanks," she whispered in his ear. "I really needed that."

"Again, it's my pleasure," Wren repeated, gently stroking her back. "I'm so sorry that this happened."

Spencer snorted. "Yeah, well, you're not the only one."

Wren leaned back and looked Spencer in the eye. "Who did this? Was this A?"

"I. . . don't know," Spencer said with a shrug. "Aria and I were just talking, sitting on my bed. But the window was open and. . . well, I guess you know the rest."

"What were you talking about?"

Spencer's mind darted backwards to their conversation. Reflexively, she placed a hand on her lower abdomen, as if trying to cover up a bulge. She knew it was ridiculous, that she wouldn't have a baby bump for weeks, but she felt exposed. "Just stuff," she lied, trying to ignore the fast beating of her heart. "Nothing important. I don't even remember anymore."

Wren looked at her skeptically, but he didn't ask Spencer to elaborate. "We should get to her room. She's waiting for you."

"How is she doing?" asked Spencer, following him as he paced down the hallways.

"Fairly decent. The surgery went well, and her recovery should be smooth. She lost a lot of blood, but the bullet didn't do any extreme damage to any organs. All in all, Aria was very lucky."

"Lucky," echoed Spencer. "She LUCKY that she got shot at such a spot that she won't die, lucky that she'll be in crippling pain and agony for weeks, and lucky that she'll need to stay in the hospital for days-"

Wren cut her off with a quick peck on the lips. "She's lucky that she has you for a nurse," he said with a smile. He pressed his lips to hers again, much longer and more forceful than before. He pulled away with a smile and said, "You should go in."

Spencer nodded, but suddenly her knees started to quake. She reached for the doorknob to Aria's room, but when she grabbed the door knob, she realized her palm was sweating ridiculously. She drew it back and wiped it on her jeans before grabbing it again.

"You'll be fine," Wren whispered in her ear before disappearing down the hallway, leaving Spencer alone at the door.

_That man could be the father of my child,_ Spencer realized as he walked away. But she knew that she needed to push those thoughts away for this moment. All that mattered right now was Aria.

She took a deep breath, turned the knob, and walked in the door, unaware of what she would find on the other side. All she knew was that Aria was on the other side, and that was enough for her.

It was enough for her to conquer the guilt and dread she felt knowing that it was all her fault that Aria was there in the first place.


	17. Chapter 17

**STILL having a crazy week. Updates will not be regular any more. I just don't have time. Sorry. . . **

* * *

Spencer opened the door slowly and took two tentative steps in the room. Aria's ICU room was full of machinery that beeped and hissed, and it took Spencer a long time to find her friend under all of it.

Aria was laying in the hospital bed with a blanket drawn up to her neck. One arm rested limply on top of the blankets, an IV climbing off her wrist. Her hair hung limply in a ponytail, and her mouth and nose were covered by a breathing mask. Several more tubes and wires crawled out from under the blankets, all of which Spencer knew were someone twisted into Aria's tiny, fragile body.

"Oh, Aria," Spencer whispered to herself. She had seen Aria in pain before- after her surgery, after she broke her arm, after she stepped on a razor blade by mistake. But NEVER had she seen Aria this damaged, this wounded.

And this was all because of Spencer. If she hadn't told Aria that Toby was A, then A would have never sought revenge. _You and your loved ones will pay. _This was more correct than she ever could have imagined: Aria was the one who took the bullet, but they were both suffering.

When Aria heard Spencer say her name, her eyes fluttered open. A small, pathetic semblance of a smile formed on her lips when she saw Spencer there, and she tried to sit up. But after she tried to bend her torso muscles into a sitting position, searing pain shot through her at the site of the bullet wound. Her smile fell and she settled back down in bed, taking quick, heavy breaths.

Spencer rushed to Aria's side with fear in her eyes. "Are you okay?" Spencer whispered frantically. "Do you need me to go get the nurse?"

Aria shook her head "no" slightly. "They told me not to sit up," she whimpered. "I should have known better."

"It's not like it's your fault," whispered Spencer. She knelt on the floor next to the bed so she was at eye level with Aria. "You're not the one who did this. I am."

Aria coughed softly, struggling for air. "I told you to," insisted Aria. "You can't blame yourself. Nothing is your fault."

Spencer shook her head. "This is all because of me. It's my fault you got mixed up in this mess. I'm so, so sorry that-"

"Shhh," Aria whispered. She tried to reach her hand out to Spencer, but she wasn't strong enough and her arm collapsed down on the bed. "You can't blame yourself for being the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"_What?" _gasped Spencer. "I am the _worst_ thing that has ever happened to you. _I'm_ the reason you became friends with Ali; I introduced you to her, back when we were kids! _I'm_ the one who keeps on digging further and further into this A mystery, and _you're_ the one getting caught in the crossfire. _I'm_ the reason your life is so miserable that you tried to kill yourself a few weeks ago. _It's all because of ME!"_

Aria looked at Spencer weakly, unable to respond for a few minutes. "Yeah," she whispered finally, "You're right. But. . . if we weren't friends, there'd probably be no one coming to my bedside right now."

Spencer's vision became blurry the longer she stared at Aria's perfect, porcelain face. "If we weren't friends, then you wouldn't be here in the first place."

"Yes, well, sometimes you have to do a cost-benefit analysis." Aria swallowed and tried to sit up again, forcing a tiny laugh while forgetting her injury. When she got up, she immediately fell back down, breathing harder and faster than before. "Ow," she whimpered, trying not to cry like a baby in front of Spencer.

It was too much for Spencer to handle. Tears started to form in her eyes, but she didn't dare let herself cry. Not here, not now. "You're a fighter," Spencer said, her voice thick with swallowed tears. "You're going to get through this."

"Press. . . that. . . . button," Aria wheezed, pointing with a shaky hand to a little red button on one of the many machines. Spencer was there in an instant and pressed the fleshiest part of her thumb on the little red button.

Instantly, Aria relaxed. "Morphine drip," she explained. "They said I can press it whenever I want."

"Instant relief," realized Spencer, thoughtfully. "Can you hook me up to one of those?"

Aria smiled again and started to laugh, but her eyes turned wide as the movement strained her wound. "Press it again?" she whispered urgently.

"Of course." Spencer pressed it again, and Aria visibly relaxed even more. _It's the only relief I can give her,_ Spencer thought as she pressed it a third time, then a fourth. It was the least she could do. It was all she wanted: to give Aria relief.

Aria's eyelids started to droop, the drugs taking affect on her body. "Hey Spence?" she whispered weakly.

"What is it, Aria?" Spencer said, grabbing her friend's hand.

"I think we should start listening to A. Obeying A."

Finally, a tear danced down Spencer's cheek. "So do I," admitted Spencer. It was real now; A really would do ANYTHING. There was no way she would ever let this, ANYTHING like this, happen again. "So do I."

_I promised I wouldn't hurt people,_ she scolded mentally. _I PROMISED. AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ARIA._

_So... I'm going to have to start obeying A. I don't care what it takes. I'll listen to that sick bastard, just to keep Aria safe._

_Just to keep her safe._

Spencer quickly pressed the button a few more times, and Aria's eyelids fell as she left consciousness. Spencer kissed Aria on the forehead very gently before falling to her knees by the bed.

"I'm so sorry Aria," she sobbed, finally letting herself loose it. "I am so, so sorry."

Spencer grabbed the railing of the bed tightly, still sobbing. Her tears fell over the bed onto Aria's limp hand, the water spilling on Aria's soft skin.

"I'm so sorry," Spencer repeated as tears swirled down her face. Now that Aria was asleep, she could say it out loud without contradiction. "I'm sorry."


	18. Chapter 18

"Spence, wake up," said Emily as she shook Spencer's shoulders. "You gotta go back to school."

"Go away," mumbled Spencer, yanking the comforter even more tightly around her shoulders as she settled back down in Emily's bed. "I don't feel well."

"C'mon, Spence, it's been a week," Emily said gently. "You have to get back to school." She sat down on the bed and tried to tug the blanket away, but Spencer was pulling it too tight.

"Just go without me," said Spencer, burying her face in the pillow.

Emily sighed. Spencer had been staying with her all week, ever since Aria had been shot. Spencer said it was just too painful to go home and sleep in her own bed AND that she was fighting with her mom, but Emily knew the real reason Spencer didn't want to go home:

She couldn't keep thinking about Aria. If she thought about it too much, she had no idea what would happen.

"I brought us up some breakfast," said Emily, gesturing to two bowls of cereal and milk on the nightstand. "We can eat in here if you want. Fruit loops. Your favorite."

Spencer's eyes widened, and she finally looked up at Emily. "You said Fruit loops taste like moldy fruit preserved in formaldehyde. You HATE fruit loops."

"Yeah, but you don't," said Emily, with a shrug.

"I'm not hungry. I don't feel well." Spencer sat up, trying to look pitiful- pretty easy, considering her pounding head and her twisting stomach.

"You've barely eaten all week," persisted Emily, pressing a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "And I brought FRUIT LOOPS! Little, multi-colored hoops of sugary wonder."

Spencer didn't say anything, and Emily visibly wilted. "Come on, Spence. Please. I know you're hurting, but you have to remember this isn't your fault and that we all still love you. I'm here for you."

Spencer sniffled, trying not to start crying again. She had been doing too much of that in the last few days. Emily had been an angel, cuddling her and holding her and rubbing her back for HOURS on end. It broke Spencer's heart to see Emily being so kind and caring because Spencer was being such a terrible friend in return.

"I'll have a little," Spencer decided, and Emily beamed. Spencer loved seeing Emily smile; she could feel the polar ice caps melting.

Emily passed the bowl to Spencer, and Spencer shoved a spoon full of the cereal into her mouth. But as she swallowed, Spencer didn't think it tasted like little, multi-colored hoops of sugary wonder. She thought it tasted like moldy fruit preserved in formaldehyde.

"Shit," Spencer whispered. She quickly shoved the bowl at Emily and jumped off the bed. Her stomach had rebelled, sending her flying to Emily's bathroom.

"SPENCER?" Emily cried after her. Emily dashed to the bathroom to find Spencer leaning over the toilet bowl, vomiting. "Are you okay?"

Spencer stopped after a minute, but sat their gagging over the toilet, unable to stand. Emily knelt down next to her and placed a hand on her back. "Spence, oh my God. What just happened?"

Spencer's mind and stomach swirled, but after a moment she figured it out: _morning sickness. FUCK. _

_Fuck this_, she silently cursed. _Fuck all of this._

When Spencer finally caught her breath, Emily helped her to her feet and grabbed her some mouthwash. Emily tenderly held Spencer up as she rinsed her mouth and spat the blue, bitter liquid into the sink.

"I think I might have a virus," Spencer whimpered. "Can I go lie down?" _Milk this_, she told herself. _MILK THIS AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL. _Spencer couldn't handle school: the pitying looks from teachers, the glares from Aria's other friends from art club, and the big, empty space at Aria's desk that should have been filled by a tiny, bubbly brunette.

"Of course," said Emily, leading Spencer back to her bedroom. Spencer collapsed in bed, and Emily wrapped a blanket around her and felt her forehead. "You don't feel like you have a fever," said Emily, sounding more than a little bit suspicious.

"Do you have a thermometer?"

Emily raised her eyebrows. "Of course," she said, sauntering away to get it. A plan slowly formed in Spencer's mind. As soon as Emily returned with the mercury filled tube, Spencer asked Emily to get her a glass of water.

The second Emily was gone again, Spencer pressed the tip of the thermometer to the lightbulb of Emily's bedside lamp. She pressed it there for a few moments, watching the mercury rise, but it was too slow! She needed to wait until it hit 100.6: high enough to be sick, but not high enough to warrant a visit to the doctor.

Suddenly, Spencer heard her phone buzz. She grabbed it from the night table and read the name of the sender: Unknown. "Fuck," Spencer whispered, out loud this time, before she read the message:

**"Happy Friday! Aren't you forgetting something? -A"**

Spencer swallowed. It was Friday, the day she was supposed to check the website for A's demands. Spencer pulled up the site on her phone and read the text on the screen:

**"Open the Fields's mailbox, and there will be a package waiting inside. Next Monday during lunch, deposit the package into Emily's locker. Do NOT open the package, or you and your loved ones will pay."**

There it was again, that same phrase: you and your loved ones will pay. Hadn't they already payed enough? And what the hell? What was in the package? Why did A want her to put it in A's locker? What did all of this mean?

Before Spencer had a chance to react, Spencer heard footsteps. She stuck the thermometer back into her mouth. Emily strolled back in and whisked the thermometer out of Spencer's mouth. "Well, I guess you really are sick," said Emily as she read the number. "You poor thing. I'll call school and let them know we aren't coming in."

"We?"

"Well yeah. My mom has to work, and I'm not leaving you alone." Emily slung an arm around around Spencer's shoulder and said. "Just because we don't have a cool name like Sparia doesn't mean I won't take care of you," she joked. "Come on, Spence. You're my friend. I'll ALWAYS be there to take care of you."

Spencer could feel her eyes watering. "Don't miss school for me," Spencer insisted. "Don't you have that big swim off today?" Emily had been talking about it all week: she and Britney Morrissey, another girl on the swim team, had been competing for the much-coveted spot of anchor in the medley relay race. The Sharks had the biggest swim meet of the year next Tuesday, and it would really be Emily's chance to shine. The two were going to have a "friendly" race today to decide the winner, but they (along with everyone in school) knew it would never be friendly.

"I can miss it," said Emily. "You're more important than some silly race."

Spencer saw Emily blush deep pink. "Em, this is really important to you. What kind of friend would I be if I let you miss this to take care of me?"

"Spence-"

"Em, go. Race. Win. Kick Britney Morrissey's ass. Just tell me all about it tonight, okay?"

"Are you SURE?"

Spencer looked at Emily's caring, earnest eyes. This was so unfair. Spencer had to watch Emily be a saint, taking care of everyone like the perfect person she was, while Spencer was forced to lie to her. It ripped Spencer's heart into pieces.

"I'm sure," Spencer replied, beaming. "Go swim like the champ you are. I know you can do it."

Emily smiled a thousand watt smile and leaned in to hug Spencer. "Feel better," she whispered before rushing out the door. Spencer waited until she could hear Emily's car pull away from the driveway before she dashed outside to the mailbox, her legs quivering with every step. She felt weaker and weaker with each step she took, and by the time she had reached the mailbox, she could barely stay standing.

Spencer opened the mailbox to find a big manilla envelope, the kind filled with bubble wrap. It was so big and puffy that Spencer couldn't even begin to guess what the contents were. She gave it a shake, but she couldn't hear of feel anything rattling around inside. A small yellow posted note was stuck on that read "FOR EMILY" in big, scratchy scrawl.

As Spencer stared at the package even longer, her mind began to feel foggier. She felt queasy, and she was afraid she might vomit again. She lightly touched her stomach with her palm, full of anger and dread. She didn't want to be pregnant, she didn't want to have to listen to A, and she didn't want to have to hide her secrets. And she DIDN'T want to deliver this package to Emily's locker on Monday.

Spencer dramatically screamed out loud, incredibly frustrated. "THIS SUCKS!" she yelled out. "THIS ALL JUST SUCKS!"

"What does?" said a voice from behind her. Spencer spun around, frightened. The second she caught the sight of the person behind her, she began to feel faint.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered urgently before the world turned black. She found herself falling down, down to the ground.


	19. Chapter 19

"Holy shit," whispered Wren as he squinted into the distance. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. In front of Emily's house, someone was picking up Spencer. She was on the ground, and a figure was trying to lift her in the air. Without a second thought, Wren jumped out of his car and broke in to a run.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded when he reached the Field's mailbox. Whoever it was already had Spencer in his arms, standing up and walking to his car.

The figure looked up at him. It was Toby. "She . . . she passed out," declared Toby nervously. He hoisted Spencer's frail body a few inches higher up in his arms, causing her arm to fall limply. "I came to visit her because I know Aria's still and the hospital, and. . . I just walked over and she passed out."

"Oh really?" growled Wren as he took another predatory step towards Toby. "Put her down." He didn't want Toby to touch her.

"Wren, I-"

"PUT HER DOWN NOW," Wren commanded harshly. Toby nodded and gently placed Spencer's on the Fields' front lawn, resting her on a bed of grass.

Toby then stood up and glared at Wren. "I'm trying to HELP her," he growled, gesturing at Spencer's limp body. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem is you," Wren hissed, taking another step towards Toby. "You've been harassing Spencer, and it needs to stop."

"HARASSING her?" Toby cried indignantly. "I'm looking out for her! I'm making sure she doesn't get hurt because I CARE about her."

"Well, if I remember correctly, Spencer isn't the only girl you've ever cared about." Wren remembered Toby's old, secret romance far too well.

Toby's eyes flashed, but he tried not to show fear. He clenched his teeth together, remembering the past romance that Wren was describing, and spat out, "Wren, let it go. She is gone, and that relationship is over."

"I loved her," growled Wren. "I loved her, and you took her away from me. Just like you're doing with Spencer. I kissed her first. I LOVED her first. You STOLE her. Did you know that she and Spencer were the only two girls I ever loved? And you stole both of them from me."

Toby rolled his eyes dramatically. "Wren, get over it! She chose me, not you. She loved me, not you. And so does Spencer."

"You don't know ANYTHING about what Spencer wants, or who she loves."

"Oh really?" asked Toby, tilting his head to the side. "Then why did she sleep with me a few weeks ago?"

Wren turned pale. This was clearly news to him. "I- I'm sorry?"

"You heard me," taunted Toby. Even as he was saying it, he realized it was pretty ballsy. But Wren was pissing him off., and the British asshole needed to hear it. "At a motel," he clarified as he began to recount every detail. "She said she wanted to meet me, and not to tell anyone. She showed up dressed like a hooker and started to strip tease. We talked for a few minutes before she started yanking down my pants-"

It was too much for Wren. He lunged at Toby, knocking him to the ground. The two boys rolled around for a few minutes, punching and kicking, but neither managed a strong attack. That was, until, Toby managed to position himself on top of Wren and gave him a solid punch on the forehead.

When the blood started spilling down Wren face, he stopped fighting. Toby had him pinned, and although Wren hated to admit it, he was nowhere near as strong as Toby. "Alright, mate, let me out," said Wren. "You've won."

"Not until you promise to stay away from Spencer," growled Toby, tightly pressing Wren's shoulder's down into the pavement.

"She's my girlfriend," responded Wren simply. He could feel the warm, sticky blood gushing, but he still continued to push his luck.

Toby pressed down even harder, causing Wren to wince. "You stupid little bastard," growled Toby. "You listen to me right now. If you ever so much as-"

"Wren? T-T-Toby?" whimpered a small, sad voice. Both Wren and Toby's heads shot up to the source of the noise. Spencer was sitting up in the grass, staring at the two boys with wide, wide eyes. "What's going on?

It didn't look good. Toby was bigger and stronger than Wren, and his entire body was pressing Wren to the ground. Blood gushed from Wren's face, and there wasn't a scratch on Toby. Toby could see in Spencer's eyes what conclusion she was jumping to.

"Spencer," both boys whispered at once. Wren found his mind faster than Toby and managed to whip the stronger, larger body off of him by shifting his weight. Toby went sprawling on the ground, and Wren rushed to Spencer's side. He wrapped an arm around her and held her tightly.

"Toby?" whispered Spencer. "What- what did you DO?"

"Spencer," Toby began, pleading. "I would- I would NEVER-"

"Stop lying, Toby," demanded Wren. "Get out of here."

"But-"

"Get out of here before I contact the police," Wren said boldly. Toby stared at him and Spencer, defeated, before breaking out into a run down the street.

"Wren, what just happened?" whispered Spencer when Toby was a safe distance away.

"I- I honestly don't know," responded Wren, words shaking. "Let's get you inside."

"WREN, WHAT just happened?" repeated Spencer, tears streaming down her face. "Did he- attack you?"

Wren scooped up Spencer into his arms, holding her closely. She said nothing as some of his blood slid onto her shirt, as he squeezed her so tightly she feared she might break.

Even as he wrapped his arms around her, Wren couldn't help thinking, _He touched her. She cheated on me with Toby, and he TOUCHED her._

Instead, Wren cleared his throat and declared, "It's nothing you have to worry about." With that, he stood up, carrying her. He struggle a bit; it wasn't that she was heavy, but he was weak. "I'll take you upstairs."

"Wren, tell me what happened."

"SPENCER," he growled in a voice that left no room for argument. "It is NOTHING you need to worry about." And just like that, the scene was over. It was all over.


	20. Chapter 20

"Hey, Spence, you feeling better?" Emily asked over the phone.

"A bit," said Spencer warily, leaning back in her chair.

"Well, are you better enough to go out and CELEBRATE?"

"Wait, you won the swim-off?"

Spencer could Emily squeal with glee on the other end of the phone. "Spence, you should have seen me! I was on fire! It was the fastest time I've had all season. And now I get to close the relay next Tuesday!"

Spencer grinned as pressed her phone to her each with her shoulder. "Em, that's amazing. I'm so, so happy for you." And she was. Emily deserved something this great in her life, something to make her smile.

"I'll be home in twenty minutes to pick you up, then we are going OUT."

"Actually," corrected Spencer as she gently ran her fingers over Aria's limp hand. "I'm not at home. I'm at the hospital visiting Aria."

"Oh," said Emily simply. "Okay. Well. . . . then do you want me to meet you there? We can just go out tomorrow-"

"Em, just go without me," Spencer said sadly as she readjusted Aria's blanket. "You and Paige can hang out with the swim team tonight, and me, you and Hanna will do something special tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go have fun," Spencer insisted. "I'm not really in a party mood."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm sure," said Spencer, grinning. "See you at home tonight. Bye, Em."

Spencer hung up the phone and stared sadly at Aria's sleeping face. The doctors kept saying how her recovery was going smoothly, but Spencer didn't believe it. There still wasn't any light in her eyes, any spark in her smile. Aria hadn't seemed like this since. . . the night she tried to kill herself.

Spencer stood up from her chair and stared at Aria's sleeping face. Aria had not been able to stay conscious for very long lately, so the two girls hadn't spoken much. She had just had an ultrasound about an hour ago, so she had been sedated and hadn't woken up yet. This visit was for more Spencer's benefit than Aria's.

Now, Spencer watched her sleeping peacefully, envious of her friend. "I wish someone would knock me out," Spencer confided to a sleeping Aria. "Make me fall asleep for a few hours, just so I didn't have to deal with all of this."

Aria didn't respond, of course. But Spencer held the conversation on both ends. "If you were awake," Spencer continued, "You'd probably tell me that I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and just keep going. You'd say, 'C'mon Spence. I don't want to, but I keep going. For you, for Emily and Hanna, for Ezra-"'

Spencer cut off suddenly as the realization hit her. Ezra. Holy shit, did he even know what happened? She hadn't called him; she didn't know his number. Oh God, what if he didn't even know?

Spencer stepped into the hallway, her mind swirling. But just as about to run home and grab Aria's phone to call Ezra, Wren appeared in the hallway. He was wearing blue scrubs and had a fresh bandage applied to the wound on his forehead.

"Spencer, what are you doing here?" asked Wren, taking a step towards her.

"I came to visit Aria, but I've got to get home," said Spencer nervously. Every second that she spent talking to Wren, she realized, was another second that Ezra had no idea of what happened.

"Why? What's wrong? Do you need a ride. . . ?"

Spencer moaned. "I completely forget to tell Ezra about Aria being here. He probably has no idea."

Wren narrowed his eyes at her, still angry about what Toby had told him earlier. "He visits her every day," said Wren. "I thought you knew."

"Oh, I didn't-"

"I thought you knew a lot of things," Wren spat, "But apparently you don't."

Spencer's jaw dropped. "Um, what does THAT mean?"

"It means-" Wren cut off, regaining his composure. "I thought you knew how much I love you."

Spencer looked up at him confused. "I DO know, because I love you just as much as you love me." She leaned in to him and pressed her forehead to his. "Wren, what's wrong?" she whispered as she nuzzled his nose. "Are you upset because Toby came to visit me? Because I didn't call him, he just showed up there."

Wren looked down into her eyes, her caramel colored eyes. "You swear?" he whispered.

"I swear," insisted Spencer earnestly before she pressed closer. Their lips touched lightly, and Wren was certain that Spencer could feel his heart pounding. There was no way he could believe her now, not after what Toby had told him. He was losing her, and he knew it.

Spencer pressed a hand to his chest and felt his heart beating a million times per minute. She was certain that Wren could sense her starting to sweat. She did the best she could to lean her abdomen away from him, as if he would be able to notice the baby growing inside her body by touching her.

Suddenly, a shiver went up her spine as a sharp pain twisted in her stomach. She knew it was normal, but she got these sharp, random pains every once in a while since being pregnant. She backed away from Wren, wincing, and pressed a hand to the wall for support. "Are you alright, love?" gasped Wren, touching her shoulder.

She nodded through gritted teeth, waiting for the pain to pass. "It's just. . . bad cramps," she lied lamely. She was internally laughing at the irony: pretending she wasn't pregnant by saying she was on her period. Wren blushed a little, not wanting to ask any more questions, and backed away.

"Should I get a nurse?" Wren asked nervously.

_More like a midwife_, thought Spencer bitterly. "Naw, I'm okay." She exhaled as the pain began to subside. She took a step towards Wren and smiled. "You're so sweet. See? I'm fine."

Wren nodded suspiciously and said, "Well, just making sure. I want to take care of you." _And keep you where you can't get hurt._

Wren looked Spencer up and down. How DARE Toby touch her. How DARE she lie to him like this! He thought he had done everything right, everything he had done to protect her from A.

* * *

_"This is low, even for you," said Wren as he angrily paced towards the girl in the red coat. The dark, angry walls of the lair looked even more menacing than usual as he approached her. She was rocking back and forth in a rocking chair, pointedly ignoring Wren as he approached from behind. "Why didn't you tell me that the two of them had sex?"__  
_

_The girl shrugged, not turning around to face him. "I didn't think it was important for you to know," she said simply as she ran her fingers over the black hoodie resting on her lap. It was new; she had just bought it recently._

_"How can you say that?" Wren hissed. "I LOVE HER!"_

_The girl shrugged again and ran her fingers through the wig she was wearing. It was itchy, but worth it to screw with the girls. "I thought you loved ME," she taunted, twirling one of the blonde strands. "I am Alison DiLaurentis, afterall."_

_"Until you take off that wig," said Wren as stepped in front of her. "You take that wig off, and it all goes away. You're back to sad, pathetic, little old you."  
_

_The girl shook her head in mock pity. "Wren, Wren, Wren. You should learn that if you're going to be a part of this team, you should respect me a little bit more." With that, she flung the black hoodie on her lap towards him and walked out the door of the lair._

_Wren clumsily caught the hoodie and felt its smooth, black fabric. As soon as the girl in red coat closed the door, he took a photo out of his pocket and stared at it. He looked at the girl in the photo as if he were staring at her for the first time, as if he hadn't memorized every detail of her face. He stared at the face of the girl, the face of the person he swore that he would protect with his life._

_It was Spencer's yearbook photo, a picture that he kept in his pocket always to remind him of why he was doing this. "As long as it keeps Spencer safe," he said aloud, staring at her beautiful face."_

* * *

He thought he had been doing everything right, but everything was still wrong, wrong, wrong.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys! I think I'm going on hiatus for a little bit while I prewrite this and work on another Ezria story. I'll start a regular update schedule again in mid April. Sorry! **

* * *

"You ready, Em?" asked Hanna gleefully as Hanna, Emily, and Spencer strolled through the hallways of Rosewood High on school after Tuesday the following week. The big swim meet was scheduled to begin in just a few hours, and Emily was beyond excited.

"I am SO ready!" declared Emily. "I have been practicing every spare second."

"It shows," said Spencer with a smirk. "You still reek of chlorine."

"Well, have I mentioned how little time I have to shower?" said Emily. "I barely have time to go to my locker, let alone lather, rinse, and repeat."

Spencer's heart sped up when Emily mentioned her locker. Yesterday, Spencer delivered the mystery package to Emily's locker during lunch, and she felt nothing but extreme guilt and self-hatred the entire time. She hated not knowing what was inside, but if she opened it, A would know. A would always know.

Spencer had been trailing Emily, watching her like a hawk, ever since she delivered the package. But when Emily went to her locker after lunch yesterday. . . it was gone. It was just gone. Since then, Spencer had followed Emily to her locker between every period, but the package still wasn't there. Spencer had no idea who took it, where it had gone, or what they were going to do with it. If A planned to take it as soon as it was planted, what was the point of putting in there in the first place?

And now, as Emily opened her locker for probably about the 10th time since then, there was still no package. Spencer just didn't understand.

"Hey, Em," called Paige as she appeared from down the hall. She jogged over to Emily with a brilliant smile. "You ready to kick ass today?"

"SO ready," Emily said as she shoved a few books into her locker. "Lets head down to the locker room now. I want to get there early to stretch before-."

The PA system suddenly crackled to life, cutting Emily off. "EMILY FIELDS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE," a voice growled angrily on the other end. All eyes in the hall turned to Emily as the person on the PA spoke again: "IMMEDIATELY," it commanded sternly.

Emily's eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. "I need to get to the locker room," she gasped. "What if they hold me too long, and I miss sign in before my race, or-"

"Hey, Em, it's okay," consoled Paige. She placed a comforting hand on Emily's shoulder and said, "I'll tell Coach your just ran out to get a pre-race snack, okay? Don't worry. They can't make you miss the meet." Emily nodded, but she still looked panicked. "Hey, Em, it's gonna be okay," Paige repeated, giving Emily a quick kiss. "Just head over there now and get in and out as fast as you can, okay?"

Emily bit her lip, nodded, and dashed down the hallway. Paige watched Emily as she left before giving Hanna and Spencer a cursory glance. "Make sure Emily's okay," Paige directed before heading over to the locker room.

Hanna and Spencer faced each other nervously, not sure what to do. "She. . . . Emily's going to be okay, right?" asked Spencer, her voice quivering. Hanna opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it again when she saw Pam Fields angrily stalking towards them.

"Girls, where is Emily?" Pam demanded harshly. Both girls were caught off guard; Mrs. Fields was pretty even tempered and NEVER yelled. They were even more surprised to see furious tears running down Pam's cheeks.

"They called her to the principal's office," Hanna said softly. In an instant, Mrs. Fields walked away with from them without saying goodbye.

"Han, what's happening?" whispered Spencer.

Hanna shook her head. "I have no idea. But I'm not waiting around here to find out." Hanna motioned for Spencer to follow, and the two girls urgently walked down to the principal's office. There was no one waiting outside, so they crept as close as they could to the door. Both girls gasped; they could definitely hear yelling coming from inside.

"Shit," whispered Hanna as she pressed her ear to the door.

"What are they saying?"

"I'm can't really tell," Hanna mumbled. "Um. . . something about the honor code." _Honor code?_ Emily was the most honorable person in the world. What could she have done that disobeyed the honor code?

Spencer was about to pres her ear to the door, but she suddenly saw a person approaching from down the hall. _Holy fuck, _Spencer thought. _What is HE doing here, right now? _"Han, I gotta go," she whispered before running towards the figure.

"Spencer?" Hanna looked up, trying to find Spencer, but she was gone.

"Spencer," said Toby as she approached from down the hall. "What's-" He was cut off by Spencer grabbing him by the arm and throwing him into the nearest broom closet. She stepped in behind him, closed the door, and flipped on the light switch.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Spencer hissed. "Checking up on your plan?" He was A, for crying out loud. Was he here to make sure everything was going smoothly?

Toby threw his hands up defensively. "What plan? Why are we in here? What did. . . what did I do?"

Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Forget it. Just. . . what are you doing here? I can't deal with you right now!"

Toby was incredulous. "I came here because I wanted to find a place to talk to you without The Doctor hanging over our every word. I wanted to talk to you _alone._"

"I've told you before, The Doctor has a name," said Spencer, turning up her nose. "And what do you want to tell me? I'm not waiting around here long. I have places to be, hysterical friends to take care of. Let's hear it."

"Okay," said Toby taking a step towards her. The two were mere inches apart, and Spencer began to tremble when she noticed that he was, in fact, TOWERING over her. "I don't know what language you were speaking when I said 'I love you,' but in English, 'I love you' doesn't mean hump and dump."

Spencer felt herself turning bright red. "I didn't 'hump and dump,' I-"

"Um, yes you did. Dammit, Spencer, I basically. . . PROFESSED MY LOVE to you, we slept together, and I wake up to find you missing and never hear from you again? Who do you think you are?"

"Who do I think _I am?" _gasped Spencer. "Oh, this is just rich. Who do you think YOU are, pretending to love me-"

"PRETENDING? Is that what this is all about? Fuck, Spencer, what do I have to do to prove it to you? I'm sorry that I slept with Alison, but you have to believe me when I say that-"

Spencer pressed a hand over his mouth. "WHAT?" she screamed as her fingers curled around his lips. Her entire body became rigid and stiff, and she almost stopped breathing. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You. Slept. With. ALISON DILAURENTIS?"

Toby gently pulled Spencer's fingers down from his mouth. "Well, yeah," he said with a shrug. "Why are you surprised? We talked about it. At the motel that night."

Spencer's blood went cold. "No we didn't. I was talking about. . . " Mona. She thought the two of them were talking about how he slept with MONA! They were, weren't they? They had talked about it, and Toby admitted he slept with her! hadn't he?

But then she remembered her exact words to Toby: "She might go by the initial 'A.'" They never said her name. Just "A." That could have meant Mona because she was A, but it could have also meant Ali _because her name started with the letter A_. Did Toby just totally misunderstand her, and she misunderstood him? Were they just totally on different pages?

That didn't add up. It didn't make sense. If Toby had slept with Ali, not Mona, was he even A? Was this all a lie? Who could she believe anymore?

Wren. Wren was who she could believe. And he said that Toby was sleeping with Mona! "That's not what Wren told me. Wren told me you slept with Mona," Spencer breathed as she stared into Toby's eyes, the yes of the boy who she once loved more than anything or anyone else in the world.

Toby sighed as he looked at Spencer's face. He could understand why Wren would lie like that; it was totally like him. Spencer's nose was wrinkled up in concern, like it always was when she was confused. He hated that look, so he had to tell her the truth. "Well, I guess Wren lied to you."

Spencer's mouth dropped open, but before she had a second to process what he said, she heard a very familiar scream from outside the door. "Emily," Spencer gasped as she jumped out of the closet. She walked out to find Emily running down the hallway towards her, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed. Hanna was running behind her, calling Emily's name.

"Emily," Spencer cried, grabbing Emily's arm before she could run past. "What's wrong? What happened?" Emily quickly slapped Spencer's cheek, HARD.

"YOU BITCH," Emily sobbed as Spencer drew back her arm and reflexively reached toward her cheek. "YOU _FUCKING BITCH! FUCK _YOU!_"_ Without another word, Emily ran down the hall as quickly as she could, hair streaming behind her as she cried. Hanna quickly followed after her, not even stopped to explain everything to Spencer, let alone acknowledge the fact that Emily, one of Spencer's only true friends, had just swore at her and slapped her. In seconds, both Emily and Hanna had disappeared.

"What the hell?" asked Toby as he stepped out of the closet behind Spencer. She had forgotten that he was still there, watching the whole thing take place. "What just happened?"

Spencer swallowed and lightly touched her fingers to the red welt forming on her cheek. "I have no idea," she whispered. Tears quickly began to flow from her eyes.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" asked Toby as he noticed her tears. He took a step towards her and pulled her back into the closet. He closed the door behind them and enveloped her into a tight hug. "What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong."

"Everything," she responded sadly before collapsing into his arms.


	22. Chapter 22

**According to my homework schedule, regular updates are impossible. But here is another one because I promised a mid-April update.**

* * *

"Here we are," said Toby as he shifted his truck into park. He had stopped just in front of the Fields' driveway after the most awkward ride in history.

Spencer opened her eyes and sat up, rubbing her face sleepily. She had dozed off on the ride here; crying hysterically took a lot out of you. "Thank you," she sniffled. "Not just for the ride, but . . . thank you for listening to me cry."

Toby reached a hand across to her and gently squeezed her knee. "I'm always here if you need me, Spencer. I . . I love you."

"Stop SAYING that," whimpered Spencer. "I can't handle two liars saying that they love me."

"Spencer, I've lied about a lot of things, but my love for you isn't one of them."

Spencer turned to look at him. If she was going to get answers, she had to get them from him. "Ali. Tell me about you and her."

Toby swallowed. "You don't want to hear about that-"

"Yes I do, Toby. What happened between you two."

"She. . . when I was a kid, I didn't have many friends. You know that. I had Emily, and Jenna. Well, not Jenna really. Ali knew I had a crush on Emily, but she also knew that Emily and I would never work out."

"Because she knew Emily had a crush on her."

Toby sharply blew air out of his mouth. "She also knew it would bug the shit out of Jenna if I ended started dating someone else, and Ali hated Jenna. So she. . . threw herself at me."

Spencer gasped. "She. . . she did?"

Toby nodded. "Spencer, I was 14 and had never been with a girl other than Jenna. And that relationship wasn't really romantic. When Ali said she wanted me, I was young, and stupid, and weak. I gave into her, and I fell into a trance."

"I don't blame you," Spencer sighed. "Ali can be. . . mesmerizing."

"But. . . Ali didn't tell me she was already doing the same thing to another guy. She wanted to piss of Melissa too, so she threw herself at MELISSA'S boyfriend."

"Wait, who was Melissa dating then? I don't remember." Spencer frowned; her sister had so many different boyfriends. They all looked and acted the same, so none of them had really stood out. That is, except for-

"Wren."

Spencer bit her bottom lip, not believing for a moment. "That can't be true. Wren, he- he would have told me if he fooled around with her."

Toby exhaled slowly. There was nothing he hated more than hurting Spencer: her eyes would go wide, her voice would quiver, and Toby could feel his whole body melting at the sight of pathetic expression. Then again, there was one thing he hated more: lying to her. And he had been doing plenty of that recently.

"Yes he would. Spencer, he hated me, and he hated that I. . . WON her. After a while, we decided that we'd make her choose one of us, and Ali chose me. It drove him insane. I don't think Wren ever really recovered from that rejection. We had a fight about it just the other day, when you passed out on the lawn."

"So that's what you were fighting about. Wren never told me. He just made it look like-"

"Like I was the bad guy," growled Toby. "He still holds a grudge for that, and for. . ."

"For what? He holds a grudge for you taking Ali, and for what?"

Toby smiled weakly at her and whispered, "For taking you, too. He lost Ali to me, but he also lost the ultimate prize: the most beautiful girl in the world."

Spencer's heart exploded; she could feel fireworks going off in her chest. "Toby, I. . . I'm with Wren now. I'm sorry."

"WHY are you with Wren?"

"Because I care about him?" It sounded too much like a question right back at him; shouldn't Toby already know why?

"No. I mean, why are you with Wren and not with me?"

"Because. . ." Spencer stopped when the realization hit her: she was with Wren because of a lie. She had dumped Toby because Wren said he was A, that he was sleeping with Mona. "Toby, can you be honest with me?"

"Of course, Spencer. I don't lie to you, EVER."

"Are you A?" It felt so bold, asking it so plainly like that. Did she really just do that? Did she really just flat out ask him, are you A?

But she had to know. She just had to know.

"Is that why you dumped me?" Toby gasped. "You think I'm A? Is that what Wren told you?"

"No." Spencer swallowed. "He told me that you visited Mona over the summer and slept with her. And I know you did; I found a fake Radley's visitor's pass in your apartment."

Toby shook his head. "Yeah, I visited her, but I never SLEPT with her! I sat with her and told her that she needed to leave you ALONE. I THREATENED her. Not ONCE was there anything romantic between us, I promise."

Spencer exhaled sharply; she hadn't realized how long she had been holding her breath. She wasn't surprised; somehow, she knew that Toby wasn't capable of something like that. She knew it could never be true. She just needed to hear someone say it.

A single tear slid down Spencer's cheek as she asked the one question there was no good answer to: "Why would Wren lie to me?"

Toby's breath caught in his throat. He'd done it again; he'd won her. Spencer was so trusting to him that he could have said ANYTHING in this moment about Wren, and she would have believed it. Thousands of responses danced through Toby's mind, all of them deliciously evil. _He lied to you because he is evil. He lied to you because he is bad guy. He lied to you to get back at me. He lied to you because he's using you._

But when he turned and looked into Spencer's big, round eyes, filled with tears, he couldn't do. She was looking at him, pleading with him to give her an answer that wouldn't break her heart. Toby knew he would regret it later, but he decided that he couldn't break Spencer's heart.

"Spencer, Wren lied to you because he loves you."

Spencer nodded, so grateful for the answer, so grateful that he still cared about her feelings enough to tell her that. She was so grateful for him. Suddenly, she found herself leaning closer to him from across the seat, and he found himself in the same situation. They began closer and closer like a magnet was bringing them together, like cosmic forces they could not control were ruling them. They both closed their eyes and pursed their lips, preparing for the contact. Their faces were just mere inches apart, and they could practically hear each other's heartbeats, when-

A sudden, loud slam interrupted them, and they both jumped back. Spencer blushed, realizing what she had almost done- ALMOST done. Not what she had done. She hadn't kissed him; not yet, anyways.

Realizing that the slam came from the Fields' front door, she hopped out of the car and jogged over to the door, Toby following close behind. The two approached the front door to find a big, blue suitcase and a large cardboard box waiting for them.

Spencer swallowed. "That's my suitcase," she whispered. There was a note taped onto it, so she ripped it off and began to read, her voice quivering with each word:

**I packed up your clothing, and the rest of your shit is in the box. If I forgot anything, tell Hanna to get it. Don't bother trying to apologize. I will NEVER forgive you for this. -Emily**

"Damn," whispered Toby when she finished reading. "Spencer, what did you DO to her?"

"I don't know!" declared Spencer earnestly. "I have no idea what I did! Whatever it is, I wish I could take it back, but I don't know!"

Suddenly, the front door opened again and Hanna stepped out. "Spencer," she whispered, completely in shock. Her eyes were wide and wet, like she had wanted to start crying but had to be the stronger person. She quickly looked around to make sure there was no one else around before she took a step closer to Spencer and whispered, "I don't believe you did it."

"What?"

"I know you would never hurt Emily like this," Hanna insisted, begging for Spencer to agree with her. "Did someone set you up? Did A? Did that Britney girl who Emily beat-"

"Hanna, slow down," declared Spencer. "What did I do that got Emily so mad?" Hanna bit her lip and pulled out her cellphone. She opened to a picture message and showed Spencer. "What is this?" Spencer whispered. It was her delivering the package to Emily's locker.

"A sent this photo me and Emily. Spence, I know this isn't you. You're not capable of something like this."

"Hanna, WHAT was in that package?"

Hanna's mouth dropped open. "You mean you don't know? Oh, God, I knew it had to be someone forcing you. I knew you could never do it. I knew-"

"HANNA, what was in the package? TELL ME!"

Hanna collapsed against Spencer, sobs shaking her entire body. "I knew you would never do that to her. I just knew it."


	23. Chapter 23

**Here's the next chapter! I've done two things for the first time here. One, SPANNA FRIENDSHIP! Two, I directly copied a scene from the real show, but I changed it quite a bit- QUITE a bit. Let me know if you catch it, and let me know if you like it! I want to try doing this again; I really liked the concept. Tell me if you can spot the scene I copied!**

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"Pull over," Spencer gasped suddenly. She had been sitting in painful silence while Hanna drove through the highway, but she was suddenly feeling very sick.

"What?" Hanna asked as she pulled around a sharp curb.

"I said PULL OVER!" Spencer cried. Hanna was completely in shock, so she quickly pumped the breaks of her car and pulled over to the side of the highway. Spencer pushed open the door before the car had even stop and tumbled out onto the grass beside the road. She managed to jog several feet away from the road before she started vomiting.

"What the hell?" Hanna wondered under her breath as she jumped out of the car. "Spence, are you okay?" she screamed, as she cautiously walked around the side of the car towards her friend.

"I'm fine," Spencer screamed back. She rolled her eyes in Hanna's direction before she started vomiting again, silently cursing Wren and Toby for not using condoms. She had no idea why it was called morning sickness when she was queasy 24/7.

Hanna was at her side in an instant and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Should I take you to a doctor?"

Spencer shook her head angrily. "No," she gasped, finally catching her breath. "You promised you'd tell me what happen, what was in the package. Let's just get back to your house."

"It's not like my house is that safe anyways," mumbled Hanna. Spencer groaned, realizing that she was right. They needed somewhere more secure if they were going to talk. Somewhere abandoned and hidden. Like the side of a highway.

"Hanna, just tell me now."

"What?"

"A won't be able to see or hear us here. We can see everything in sight. Let's just stay here and tak."

Spencer grabbed Hanna by the wrist and ran into the forrest next to the highway. The two collapsed in a pile under some pine trees and Spencer said, "Okay, now tell me."

"HERE? REALLY?"

"Han, we need to be somewhere safe, where people won't overhear us talking," Spencer insisted. "Well, look around! We're covered; no one can hear us or see us. Now tell me what happened! I have to know why Emily hates me so much." Her voice cracked on the last few words. She didn't like the idea of one of her best friends hating her.

Hanna swallowed and whispered, "She got a text from A that said you had a secret agenda. At first we didn't know what it meant, but then she also got some pictures."

Spencer watched Hanna's eyes glaze over. "Okay, pictures of what?"

"Of you, delivering that package to her locker. They were pretty incriminating. Spencer, to Emily, it looked REALLY bad."

Spencer grabbed Hanna's shoulders and shook her. "HANNA, YOU AREN'T LISTENING TO ME! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I PUT IN HER LOCKER! TELL ME WHAT IS WAS!"

A single tear dripped down Hanna's cheek before she whispered, "Drugs."

"Drugs?"

"Spence, that package was full of drugs. Emily didn't tell me exactly what was in there, but she said it was really bad stuff. I'm not talking pot or anything like that; I mean SERIOUSLY bad shit. Stuff that kills. The kind of stuff that could get her thrown in jail instantly, no trial or anything."

"JAIL?"

Hanna sighed. "The principal is going to try and keep it quiet, so they won't report her to the cops. The office got an anonymous tip that she's a dealer, so they raided her locker and found the package."

"Oh God," Spencer whispered. The pieces were all beginning to make sense. "No wonder she was freaking. She must think that I gave that anonymous tip! What did the principal do? Make her miss the swim meet? No wonder-"

"Spencer," Hanna cut her off. "They didn't just make her miss the race. They expelled her."

Spencer's jaw dropped. "They- they can't do that! Don't they need to take her to the honor council, have a trial?"

"Well, yeah," Hanna whispered. "She's suspended indefinitely for now, but the principal told her she's as good as out."

Spencer covered her mouth with one hand. "Oh my God, poor Emily." She felt her heart speed up as she came to the realization. "She thinks I planted them on purpose, doesn't she?"

"How can she not? Spence, she isn't thinking clearly right. I know you would NEVER do anything to hurt either of us-"

"But I did," Spencer whispered. Her voice caught in her throat. "I betrayed her. One of my best friends. I- I ruined her life! I betrayed her!"

"No, you didn't Spencer." Hanna grabbed Spencer's hands in hers. "You said that A forced you to do it, that you had no idea what was in the package. Emily can't hate you for that; no one could!"

"Yes, they can!" Spencer insisted. "I shouldn't have given in to A like that. Just because A has something on me-"

"I know what you feel like, Spencer. A has something on all of us."

"Not something like what A has on me," Spencer whispered under he breath.

Hanna's brow furrowed. "What does A have on you?"

"Forgot I mentioned it-"

"No, seriously, Spence. What is it? You can tell me." Hanna squeezed Spencer's hands even more tightly and said, "Just tell me. It's okay."

Spencer's heart exploded. The way Hanna squeezed her hands, the way she looked so earnestly into Spencer's eyes, the way she promised to be loyal- it was just like when Spencer told Aria about Toby being A. And while Spencer remembered that great sense of relief when she told Aria the truth, she also remembered the warm, sticky feeling of Aria's blood dripping all over her hands.

Then, she saw Hanna, covered in blood. Hanna, sick and dying in a hospital room. Hanna, being expelled from school. All of that could happen if she told Hanna the truth. She couldn't do it; she couldn't make that happen to her.

"I can't," Spencer whimpered sadly. "I can't." She looked at Hanna, her friend since she was five, and she felt like she wanted to cry. She thought of all the secrets she was hiding: Toby and Wren, her pregnancy, Ali's relationships- she could never tell a soul, and that meant Hanna. "There's so much that you don't know. . ." Spencer said, the words dissolving between them like smoke. "And I can never tell you."

Hanna wilted. "But. . . don't you trust me?" When Spencer didn't respond, Hanna could feel an emotional punch in the gut. A silent look passed between them, both of them silently pleading with each other that this couldn't be real. Her voice caught in her throat as she whispered, "I- I thought we felt the same way about each other." _I believe in you, Spencer; why don't you believe in me?_

It felt like a slap in the face. Spencer sniffled and choked out, "It's not that. Han, I found a way to survive my secrets, but everyone around me gets hurt. You deserve to have a friend who can be honest with you, and I'm sorry."

She got up and started to run as fast as she could, but Hanna managed to catch her. She yanked Spencer's wrist and pulled her down to the ground, the two of them collapsing in a heap. Hanna said nothing, only bit her lip to stop herself from crying. "How can you hide from me, Spencer?"

"Hanna, There only four or five people in my life that I care about- REALLY care about. And all of them either hate me because of A, or nearly got killed because of A except for you. And I can't let A hurt you."

Hanna nodded slowly, beginning to understand. "Spence, I can take it. I can take whatever A throws at me if it helps you."

"But Hanna, I don't know if I can take it to see you in pain. I just don't think I can."

Hanna pouted. "Well, maybe you won't have to tell me what it is. Maybe I can guess."

Spencer felt a sharp twist in her stomach. "I don't think you can do that. Hanna, I'd rather just keep you in the dark to keep you safe."

"But- But, we don't keep secrets."

"If keeping secrets is keeping you safe, than yes, we do. Hanna, the last time someone asked me to share a secret, she got a bullet in the gut. Aria gets released from the hospital this week, and I can't have you go take her place in there."

Hanna nodded. "Maybe I can just figure you out without you telling me."

"Hanna, I told you-"

"I'm smarter than I look," insisted Hanna. "Please just let me try to figure it out."

Spencer bit her lip as the twist in her stomach intensified and a sudden wave of nausea hit her. "Well, here's your first clue," she gasped as she leapt to her feet. She dashed deeper into the woods before getting sick again, pressing a hand to her stomach as she lurched in pain.

"Spence!" cried Hanna as dashed after her. "Are you okay?"

Spencer nodded weakly. "Are you figuring it out yet?"

Hanna looked at her, puzzled. "All I've figured out is that you need to go see a doctor. You're throwing up every few minutes, almost every single day. Why are you holding your stomach like that- ohhhhhhhhh, yeah, I got it."


	24. Chapter 24

**Props to Sgdp1261, CarsasaAllakay, and Runawaybaby555 for guessing the hidden reference in the last chapter: Spencer was talking to Hanna using the Spoby breakup lines from 2x11, which was personally one of my all time favorite moments in the series. Here is the next update, with plenty of Spanna friendship and a twist at the end. Please review!**

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The following day, Hanna and Spencer sat down at a wooden table in the middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania, ready to start talking. Hanna insisted on treating Spencer to lunch so they could talk, but they needed to be somewhere secluded.

Now, as the two sat down to lunch, Spencer could not stop staring at Hanna. Her mind kept flashing between moments, and she couldn't focus on just one.

"Watcha thinking about?" asking Hanna as she took a sip of her water glass.

_Everything._ Spencer quickly blurted out the first moment she could think of: "The day we first met. When you got sick."

Hanna's brow furrowed as she picked up a menu. "What are you talking about?"

"When we first met, in Kindergarden." Hanna looked at Spencer blankly, so she continued. "Well, on the first day, our teacher had to leave because her husband was in a car crash, so she left us with the teaching assistant. You don't remember?"

Hanna shook her head. "No. What does that have to do with you or me?"

Spencer grinned. "The teaching assistant didn't know you were allergic to peanuts, so she gave you a PB and J at snack time. You immediately went into anaphylactic shock, and the poor girl had a heart attack. She grabbed your epi pen, but had no idea what to do or how to use it. You were too out of it to explain it to her, and she was too freaked to try and figure it out. So I-"

"You grabbed the epi pen from her hand," Hanna finished, "And you shoved it in my leg. Now I remember." Hanna cracked a smile, picturing a bold baby Spencer just jabbing her in the leg with a needle. "You know, you saved my life."

"Naw," Spencer said, blushing furiously. "The girl would have figured it out."

"I'm not so sure," replied Hanna. "From what I heard, she was pretty freaked out. And my throat closed up pretty quick, so if you hadn't done that. . . I might not have made it. I'm here today because of what you did for me."

Spencer looked down at her placement as tiny tears formed in her eyes. She could remember the scene perfectly, a little pudgy blonde girl she had never spoken to coughing and crying when she ate her snack, the teaching assistant dropping the needle on the floor next to her, the sudden realization of what she had to do to save the girl.

A waitress came and took their orders. Hanna ordered the turkey club, and Spencer got chicken noodle soup; as always, she was feeling nauseous. It quickly became silent, and Hanna stared at Spencer while she fiddled with the straw in her glass. "So," Hanna said finally. "You ready to talk?" Spencer didn't respond, and Hanna sighed. "Come on, Spencer, we have to start talking. I don't want A to keep us apart just because you refuse to communicate with me."

Spencer sucked on the corner of her lip nervously. "It's not that I don't want to talk to you. It's just that it's so hard for me to talk about."

"Okay, then I can ask the questions and you give me an answer." Hanna leaned forward in her chair and whispered quietly, "How far along are you?"

Spencer did the mental math and grabbed a swig of her water. "Just about 14 weeks I think. Maybe a little more or less. The conception date is kind of. . . fuzzy."

Hanna didn't question this, but looked at Spencer sternly. "Have you made any plans?"

Spencer shook her head. "No. I've just been so out of it. I found out the day Aria was shot and haven't really thought much of it since then."

"Was she shot because you told her?"

Spencer nodded. "I wasn't supposed to tell. A told me not to. That's why. . . that's why I didn't want to tell you."

"But you didn't tell me, I figured it out." Hanna shrugged. The waitress returned with their food and quickly left. Spencer immediately started eating while Hanna studied her, not touching her sandwich. "Have you made any plans?" she repeated.

"What? Han, I just told you I haven't."

"Well, Spence, you're carrying a baby. I mean, you already showing-"

"I am?" Spencer placed a hand on her stomach. She hadn't thought she looked THAT much bigger. "I thought I could maybe pass for. . . gaining weight."

Hanna shrugged. "Well, I'm your best friend. I'm with you a lot, so I noticed more than most people. But seriously, Spence, you have to decide what you're going to do. I mean, you can't get an abortion at 14 weeks-"

"I CAN'T?"

"No, the cut off is 12." Spencer groaned. It wasn't like she was considering it, but there was one more option gone. And Spencer needed options.

Hanna sighed. "Have you said anything to Wren or Toby?"

Spencer's eyes shot up. Did she just say _OR?_ How the hell could she know? "What. . . "

"God, Spencer, I'm not as stupid as you think I am. You said the conception date was fuzzy, and I watched you and Toby hang out in a dark closet yesterday. AND you still say you're with Wren. So what am I supposed to assume?" Hanna shrugged at her and picked up her sandwich. "You're no skank, Spencer, but I know that if you knew who the father was, you'd tell him immediately."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because you don't keep secrets from ANYBODY."

Spencer sighed and pushed her soup away. "You know what? I'm not really hungry anymore. I'm just so pissed that. . . "

"That what?" Hanna took a bite of her sandwich and stared at Spencer.

"That Wren was lying to me. He lied about a LOT of things. Han, he had a thing with Ali and never told me, and he fought with Toby about her and never told me. Why would he do that?"

Hanna shrugged. "Who knows?" she mumbled, her mouth still full. "Hell, maybe he's A." Then, she swallowed, not giving her comment a second thought. She meant it as a joke, but hearing that made Spencer freeze.

"Why would you say that?" Spencer demanded, her voice tight. Her blood was running cold, then warm. She could feel her heart take off like a bird in flight, its wings beating faster and faster as it soared to the truth.

Could that be it? Could Wren be A? All of the secrets, hiding, lying- was that because Wren was A? Hanna didn't respond because she was choking a little on her food. She grabbed a glass of water and started to chug, and she was eventually able to swallow.

"Hanna, why would you say that?" Spencer repeated nervously, clenching her fists. But Hanna still didn't respond because she began coughing. She soon drank her entire glass of water and began to reach for Spencer's.

"Han, are you okay?" Spencer gasped as Hanna finished a second glass. Hanna shook her head "no" as she grabbed her throat. He breathing was fast and wheezy as she gasped for air.

"Hanna!" cried Spencer as she jumped up from her chair. Diners around them were staring, but Spencer didn't notice at all. She ran around the side of the table and placed a hand on Hanna's cheek. She was sweating, and her face was turning red. "Hanna, what's wrong?"

Hanna coughed again violently before choking it out: "Peanuts."

Spencer grabbed the sandwich Hanna had been eating and took of the top piece of bread. Hanna had ordered a turkey club, but for some reason there was a big smear of peanut butter on one piece of bread. And when Spencer looked closely, she could almost see the letter A in the lumpy smear. It was a taunt.

Spencer placed one hand on Hanna's shoulder and used the other to squeeze Hanna's shaky hand. She could already feel thick hives forming on Hanna's baby soft skin. "Do you have an epi pen with you?" Spencer asked desperately, watching Hanna choke.

Hanna shook her head forcefully before falling sideways off her chair onto the ground. Spencer immediately scooped Hanna's shaking body into her arms and screamed, "SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!" at the top of her lungs.

Spencer suddenly flashed back again to the first day of Kindergarden, when she jabbed the needle into Hanna's body. She loved the glory of it, how every parent knew her name after that, how Ms. Marin baked her a "thank you" cake, how the teaching aid was especially nice to her for the rest of the year- but more than that, she loved her new best friend Hanna. She knew she had a power inside her: a power to save someone she loved. More than anything in the world, she wanted to save people. More than anything in the world, she loved having that power.

Now, as Spencer looked down at Hanna as she choked, she kept seeing a little five year old Hanna reflected back in 17 year old Hanna's eyes. "SAVE ME!" Spencer could almost hear Hanna crying. "SPENCER, SAVE ME!" And now, she was powerless.

At that moment, she knew that A had taken all of her power away.

She wanted to save Hanna. She wanted to do anything she could to save her. Hell, she might have even given her life at that moment, just to rescue Hanna.

But she couldn't.

"Hanna," Spencer promised as she wrapped her arms around Hanna's body, "Everything is going to be okay. You're going to be okay."

She was lying, and she knew it. Nothing would ever be okay again.


	25. Chapter 25

**Oh man. It's been FOREVER since I posted. But WOHOOO! Another installment! AND time for another game of "spot the reference from the show." This one is a little bit harder. I'm sorry I've been so bad about updating; school is really killing me. But I hope you enjoy! And leave me a comment if you got the reference. **

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Spencer didn't look up when she heard the tell-tale creak of an old wheel chair approaching from down the hall; she kept her face buried in her hands. "Spence?" a soft, familiar voice whispered carefully. "You okay?" But Spencer said nothing, the shame on her shoulders to heavy to shake loose. She only moved when she felt a tiny, frail hand press lightly on her shoulder.

"I'm okay," Spencer said, unearthing her face to look at Aria. "Why are you in the chair?"

"They won't discharge anyone unless they leave in the chair," Aria explained. "And truth be told, I'm not standing up too well. That, and the fact that I haven't been awake for more than a half hour at a time since the surgery."

"Yeah, whenever I visit you, you seem to be-"

"You've been visiting me?"

Spencer looked at her quizically. "Almost every day. You don't remember?"

"Spencer, they had me on so many drugs that I couldn't remember my own name." There was an awkward pause in the conversation as a gurney rolled by, and neither girl said anything for a moment. Finally, Aria placed a hand on Spencer's knee and said, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Spencer shook her head as she furiously wiped tears away. "What's there to talk about? I almost killed her."

Aria sighed and looked into the window of Hanna's ICU room. Hanna was sleeping soundly on her hospital bed, Ashley Marin by her side. "Hey, she'll be okay," said Aria gently. "Hanna's a fighter."

Spencer bit her lip, trying not to cry even harder. "It's my fault," she whispered. "Aria, I told her about. . . " Spencer trailed off and simply put a hand on her stomach. "I knew that I shouldn't, A told me I shouldn't. But I did, and. . . then this happened."

Aria sighed again, trying to think of the right thing to say. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen. So does she. It's not your fault that this happened."

Spencer shook her head slowly. "No, it is. It's my fault because-"

"What. The. _FUCK?" _a voice exclaimed from behind the girls. Both quickly turned their heads around quickly to see an extremely distraught Ezra barreling towards them.

"_Ezra?"_ they both exclaimed at once. Spencer hadn't spoken to him since before Aria had been admitted. Wren assured had that Ezra visited her every day, and she was too embarrassed to talk about Aria with him. So, she avoided him entirely.

Ezra stopped when he was just a feet from the girls, his hands shaking while tightly clenched in fists. He didn't take his eyes off Aria. "I don't hear from you for weeks," he spat out, still staring at Aria in her wheel chair. "I text you, you don't respond. I call you, you don't respond. I go to Spencer's house to find you and its EMPTY. You don't show up to school; you aren't around town. You're just fucking GONE."

"Ezra-" Aria squeaked, but he cut her off.

"And THEN, today I an anonymous text that you are being released from the hospital after you were SHOT!" he cried, he voice cracking on the last few words.

"An anonymous text?" whispered Spencer, unable to breath. Did A really text Ezra?

Ezra's head finally jerked away from staring at Aria and he stepped towards was towering over her and shaking with anger as he approached her. "Why didn't you call me?" he growled.

"I- I thought you knew."

"REALLY?" he exploded. "Because I haven't been here ONCE, and you haven't talked to me in weeks. How could you keep this from me?"

"It wasn't intentional," Spencer whimpered, trying to catch Aria's eyes, but she was too busy staring fearfully at Ezra. Spencer had NEVER seen Ezra so furious, so scared. She had kept him from the one he loved, and she hated herself for it. "I wasn't trying to keep her from you."

"Like hell you weren't!" With that, he stepped over to Aria and picked her up from the wheel chair. She was so small and tight that he could scoop her up in his arms easily. Aria wasn't able to protest; she just clung to his body in fear and confusion.

"How could you keep us apart?" he whispered, turning to Spencer. "I _love _her." With that, he angrily paced down the hall, still holding Aria in his arms.

Spencer collapsed back down onto her chair, her mind spinning. What the hell just happened? How can Ezra PHYSICALLY separate the two of them? Spencer cared way too much about Aria to stay away.

Aria was being taken away from her. Hanna was in the hospital. Emily hated her. _I've lost almost everyone that I care about,_ she realized. _All of them._

_Well, almost. I still have Wren. . . or do I?_

Spencer's heart sped u. How could Ezra not have known about Aria being hurt? She thought Ezra had been visiting Aria since day one! Wren had told her so!

Wren. . .

It couldn't be.

He lied to her about Ezra visiting Aria.

He lied to her about him and Toby fighting over Ali.

Wren was a liar.

It became clear to her in those moments: Wren was up to no good.

"Spencer!" a worried, familiar voice exclaimed from down the hall. "Is Hanna okay?"

"Wren?" Spencer choked out. She watched him barreling towards her, sweat forming on his brow. A wave of dread filled her creeping up from her toes through her spine. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here, dammit!" He ran over to Spencer and yanked her to her feet by the wrists. "Now tell me that she's okay! Did Toby hurt her?"

_Toby? Why would he think that Toby did it? _Spencer was shocked by his roughness. "Sh-she's fine," gasped Spencer, gesturing to Hanna sleeping the ICU room. "Wren, calm down." Spencer tried to yank her wrists away from Wren, but he was holding her to tight.

"How can you say she's fine!" cried Wren. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"_Wren_," exclaimed Spencer. "Let go. You're hurting me." His grip kept getting tighter, and Spencer felt like she was going to snap. But he didn't let go; he just kept squeezing "Ah, ah, ow, owwwwww- WREN! Let GO of me! Let _GO!_"

"Where's your pal Toby?" Wren growled. Spencer's heart race shot up ten fold as she saw the furious look in Wren's eye. She had no idea what he was thinking at that moment, only that it was murderous.

She could feel her heart speed up us Wren squeezed her even tighter. She went into fight or flight mode, and she knew the answer was flight. But she just couldn't get free. "Get AWAY from me!" she sobbed, her entire body shaking, writhing in pain and fear.

But suddenly, she saw a flash when a flying fist pounded into Wren's face. He released Spencer's wrists, collapsed to the ground while moaning as he pressed his hands to his face, and went sprawling. Spencer immediately jumped back and pressed her wrists into her belly protectively. She turned to her savior, and her heart melted when she fell into his familiar arms. Nothing had ever felt so right.

"Toby," she whimpered. "Toby."

"Shhh, it's okay," he whispered, wrapping his strong biceps around her back. "You're okay; I've got you."

"You idiot," Wren howled from the floor. "I wasn't attacking her."

Toby wrapped his arms even more tightly around Spencer's body. "Like fucking hell you weren't!" he growled. He started to lead Spencer away from Wren, but Wren sprang up from the ground.

"Spencer, don't touch him-!" Wren started to say, but he was interrupted.

"_NO!" _cried Spencer. She burst free from Toby's arms and swallowed. "Wren, we're _over!"_ A wave of shock glazed over Wren's face, but Spencer didn't stick around to see it. She slipped her hand into Toby's and started to run, run as fast as she could, run away from Wren.

And when they stopped running, Spencer collapsed into his arms again, knowing everything was just as it she be. She had chosen Toby, the boy she loved, the boy she knew she had to be with. He may or may not be her baby's father, but she knew he was the right choice. She loved him, she knew it, and he loved her with all his heart. When she leaned into his strong, strong chest, everything felt right.

But she was wrong. She may have chosen the right boy, but everything was still wrong, wrong, wrong in the world. She had no idea that the minute she stopped running and fell into Toby's arms, Wren was dialing his phone, angrily punching in the numbers.

"_I was expecting your call,"_ a familiar female voice hissed from the other side. Wren could almost picture her twirling her long, dark hair mindlessly as she picked up her phone.

"Were you?" mumbled Wren. "It's over between me and her. I'm in."

"_What do you mean by 'in?'"  
_

"You know what I mean, bitch. On the plan. I'm in on the plan. We are going to make her pay."

"_You mean Spencer."_

"Spencer Hastings is dead to me," growled Wren. "And very soon, she WILL be dead."


	26. AN

Fanfiction readers-

I know sorry just doesn't cut it. I have not updated for ages. I've gone through a very difficult period over the last several weeks, in addition to finals, etc. Writing for me is a destresser, yet it takes time and effort to sit down and produce something good. Couple that with the fact that I lost about 10,000 words due to a technology failure and a bout of writers block, and you can see that I've had a hard time producing writing.

I know where both of my in-progress stories are going, exactly how they'll end, and what will happen chapter by chapter. But it has just been a struggle for me to sit down and create it. Writing fanfiction for me was a part of a regular routine: school and work, and then writing as a way to wind down and relax. But my personal life has changed over the last several weeks and I can't keep to that routine. I've been having a very difficult time.

Tomorrow, I leave to go on a trip and will be without internet for roughly 6 weeks. I will not be able to update in any of that time. I am so, so sorry for leaving you hanging. I hope to be able to start writing again when I get back and get back to a regular update schedule. Hopefully I'll find a way out of this funk.

Sorry,

-A girl with a laptop


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